5 Tips on how to woo Marisa Miller: By Bob ‘The Bitch’

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
This is Marisa Miller in the May issue of Ralph Magazine. Many know her as the blond supermodel who’s graced the pages of nearly every ‘sex selling’ magazine known to man. But few know her for another special reason–she’s also my girlfriend. That’s right free world, I’d like to officially announce that Marisa and I are an item. Like peas and carrots we have been in a passionate romance for the past 3 years. But if you are like how I used to be (mangina) then you’re probably wondering how I bagged such a beautimous babe. And in my new tell all book 5 Ways on How to Woo a Beautimous Babe (really a short story with pictures) you will learn from my method. A method I’ve come to call the ‘wear the pants or go home’ method (also accompanied with pictures and SNAKES). So get off your ass and bag that babe with the gravy train with biscuit wheels body today. Just not Marisa Miller…cause that’s my bitch and I own a sawed off shotgun.

Good luck.

Return to i-am-bored.com for more boredom relief or just take a look at Gemma Atkinson without any clothes on here.

This is as close as Marisa Miller will ever get to an Oscar

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John:
Marisa Miller showed up at Spike’s Men’s Choice Awards looking like the supermodel sex pot she is. Check me if I’m wrong but if somebody ever hands me an antler rack and tells me it’s an award, I’ll hit them strait in the mouth. I’ll bet Marisa threw that thing out of her limo and killed a homeless man with that abomination.
But I really do want to know who those middle-aged old balls are? Lemme’ guess, the Spike TV brains who thought up the antler awards, right? All that for a hug from Marisa Miller. Respect.

All Hail Marisa Miller: SI Swimsuit Cover Girl

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It’s about GD time! Marisa Miller has been posing for SI’s Swimsuit Issue for 7 years and she finally got the cover. She’s not only topless on the cover, she is wearing nothing but body paint on the inside spread. Gross, I know. She’ll probably have to take a long, hot, steamy shower to get all that paint off -especially from the hard to reach areas. . .what was I talking about…?

If these walls could talk…

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Photo courtesy of egotastic.com

Dee:
This one’s for the guys. Victoria’s Secret supermodel, Marisa Miller poses for a photo shoot. Women just don’t deserve to look that good.

Bob ‘The Bitch’
This woman’s ass could heat toast. Walls protrude when she walks by. Studies have shown that Marissa Miller has never, and will never have to work another day in her life. If I saw her, I would be a deer caught in the headlights. Puddy in her hands, a canvas for her art. Ok, that’s enough visuals for one post.