Derober

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Sometimes I’m surprised at my own destruction. I mean…WOW. That escalated really quickly. I was just going to make a simple statement out of the boy, but somewhere between the anvil dropping and the bloody rib cage protruding from the boy’s body I blacked out. That always happens when I’m sober. Anyways, these pics are of Justin Gaston, aka. the blowjob object of Miley Cyrus‘ affection. And in these pics the 20 year old Blue Steel wonabee can be seen getting drunk with his other male model friends. Now call me old fashioned, but prancing around half naked and drunk with your model friends comes off just a tad bit gay, don’t you think? But maybe that’s just because I like women. I guess that makes me biased, right. Sorry, I’ll start drinking immidiately.

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
A good friend of mine once said, “You know the thing about cock is…she loves it.” Now I don’t think he was referring to Miley Cyrus at the time but I can’t help but think that this statement applies to her. I mean at what point does Disney wrap Miley up in a burlap bag, only letting her out for public appearances and performances? Because if I know one thing about Disney it’s that they are not big advocates for the BJ. Well, on a personal level they love them, however, tapping into that 1 to 14 year old demographic is a bit hard when your lead star is a sex crazed dick vacuum. Think about it. Anyways, what would Billy Ray say if he saw his daughter making BJ gestures at her boyfriend during a model runway walk? Probably nothing…but maybe just maybe he’d go all country on her ass. Just sayin.

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

John:
Miley Cyrus has decided to write her autobiography despite lacking the ability to read and write. I smell a winner. From The Sun,

The book deals with Miley’s upbringing as daughter of country singer Billy Ray Cyrus and reveal[s] how her solid relationship with her family, especially her mother Leticia, helps her navigate the spotlight.
Miley said: “I’m not sure when it’s going to come out. It’s finished but you’ve got a long process of editing and all that kind of stuff, so it takes a while.”

No, we did not throw that last part in there for show. If Miley’s book reads anything like she actually talks, I think we’re in for a real fall treat here, folks.

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

John:
Taking her act across the pond, Miley Cyrus turned up in London over the weekend for a performance on BBC The Switch Live on Sunday. The soon-to-be 16-year-old starlet took the stage at the Hammersmith Apollo, performing with a lineup that included Fall Out Boy and Ne-Yo.
I copied and pasted the first two sentences from the Daily Mail so my report would sound ‘newsy’ and informed. Now here is what is really going on in Miley’s life:

Miley is 16 and dating an underwear model = gutterball
Miley is choking down anything with an oblong shape = gutterball
Miley’s dad = gutterball
Miley’s concert ticket price$ = gutterball
Fall Out Boy = gutterball
Miley isn’t dating me = gutterball (but well played)

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

~Mickey’s Proportional Response ~

John:
Gossip sites dish out so much shit on this poor girl. Luckily she never went to school so she can’t read. Miley Cyrus celebrated her 16th birthday by treating her fans to $300 seats to her Disneyland show. When reached for a comment regarding the crater in my wallet, Miley responded,

The snozberries taste like snozberries.

Dumber than a sack of hammers. F*ck it, she’s not even legal yet so what do I care (wink)