Derober

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Isn’t this sweet. Miley Cyrus and her new boyfriend Justin Gaston (sporting the crucifix bling) walked to church Sunday. The Cyrus’ probably had to repent for fist f#cking a stray goat and for general douche baggery. You know, same old story. But the good news is Jesus loves country, so he’ll give Miley and the boy toy a pass for having premarital sex because to Jesus Billy Ray is God. True story.

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

John:
It’s Miley Cyrus day here at Derober and I’ve got my Hanna Montana wig on. Is it just me or is Miley constantly itching to take her clothes off? Sometimes when Miley’s walking with her friends she’ll turn to them and say, “Did you just tell me to take my clothes off??” And she tucks her shirt into her bra and does cartwheels while her friends look at each other and say, “I didn’t say anything, did you?”
You know how some kids in high school apply for early admission to college? Well Miley applied early for Playboy’s college issue. She got accepted.

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Darby Gunpowder:
The moral fabric of this country just unraveled a c-hair; Lifestyle condoms asked Miley Cyrus to be their spokesperson for $1 million clams. She’s still consulting with her stuffed animals, Malibu Barbie and Mickey Mouse doll whether to take the job or not. I guess their is an epidemic of young teenagers riding the boner roller coaster these days -I wouldn’t even pretend to know about this, but if the NYDaily News says so, then it’s true,

“Pop culture proves that teens are more ready than ever to disuss the subject of sex,” said Carol Carrozza, VP of marketing for LifeStyles. “With recent reports showing that one out of four teenage girls has an STD and the high level of teenage pregnancy, we believe that Miley is both influential and relatable to this afflicted set – and is the obvious choice to get the message of safe sex out to teens across America.”
A rep for Cyrus says the teen has not been approached with the company’s offer yet, but that it is something her and her camp would never consider.

Update: Walt Disney just turned over in his grave.

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Disney’s predicted response

John:
Some teenager hacked into Miley Cyrus’ cellphone and stole a bunch of images. I guess there are some additional nude photos out there the hacker is attempting to sell. Sadly, the hacker was not told that nude pictures of a 15 year-old cannot be sold to TMZ because that’s illegal as shit. But I admire the grit and determination it takes to hack a celebrities cell phone and make post like this on Derober.com possible. Rock on, young hacker, rock on.

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
We’re in the midst of another epic summer out here in LA and you know what that means–CELEBRITY ROTISSERIE TIME! It’s like roasting a hot dog without all the guilt. And Miley Cyrus was so gracious to provide us with her company. The only thing this picture is missing is a slew of ewoks and a famous person I actually give a sh#t about. But this will have to suffice for the time being. Happy middle of the summer everyone!