Matthew Mcconaughey to name his baby after beer

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
According to The Star, Matthew Mcconaughey has come up with a great idea for the name of his new baby. A name that will go down in the annals of redneck history. He is planning to name his baby after a beer. And why wouldn’t why? But which beer you ask? Only time will tell but I’ve picked out a few names that I thought had a good ring to them. How about Milwaukee Mcconaughey, or Miller ‘High Life’ Mcconaughey? There’s also Busch Mcconaughey or my personal favorite Steel Reserve Mcconaughey. The possibilities are endless.

Any suggestions from the peanut gallery?

Win a date with Mischa Barton!

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All you have to do to get a shopping date with Mischa Barton is dress like Boy George and tell her she looks pretty, when in fact, she looks like Laura Ingles.

Women should act like women. Milwaukees’ Best turns the table

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Photo of Lauren Conrad digging for gold

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Bob ‘The Bitch’ says:
The Hills star Lauren Conrad exited a crowded Les Deux Tuesday night, sporting this sexy sailor/Paris Hilton rip-off outfit. And I’d say there was absolutely nothing wrong with this photo of a person picking a wedgie except for the abundance of that one extra X chromosome. Sorry L’Con, that look is the norm for a male but is completely disturbing and upsetting when performed by a female. I’m pretty sure I learned that tid-bit in the 6th grade–biology 101. I understand your career will be waving by-by in the near future (after that ridiculous show is canceled), but getting extra publicity by picking your own ass is not the answer. There’s no gold there, so keep those fingers out of that region. Leave that task to the men.
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Out of the frying pan, into spotlight

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John Says:
David Hasselhoff got so drunk last week he had to be hospitalized. But yesterday the bright lights were callin’ and Hoff made it to the Christian Audigier Spring/Summer ‘08 show with his daughter in tow. Her marching orders from mommy: Make sure daddy stays off the sauce.

I may or may not have had a Hasselhoff poster in my dorm room in college (as a joke), but I like the guy. Stay on the wagon, you big dumb ox.

Leo says:

Lets not forget, the Hoff lacks original sin. Any guy who single handedly brings down the Berlin Wall has a free pass to get hammered drunk as much as he wants. I wish I got to go to the hospital every time I got effed up -I yearn for an IV the morning after a good bender. Lucky bastard.

Zac Efron hosts Australian Kids’ Choice Awards. Event co-sponsor, Milwakee’s Best Light.

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John says:
Wednesday, Zac hosted the Nick Kids’ Choice awards in Australia. In Zac’s words, “somebody paid me a lot of money to go somewhere and do something.” It’s not that we don’t like Zac, he’s just an easy target. He’s our Derober muse. We see him and the ideas just start flowing.

Leo says:
Here is a quick peek inside John’s comment, “…we see him and the ideas just start flowing”. This is how we get from point A to D in Efron’s Derobing. Hhmm, Zac Efron…Zefron…Zephyr… let’s smash Zac with an ecto-jizz covered zephyr. It’s that simple. And for the record, I don’t like ZacH, because he spells his name wrong and the ladies love him. John: don’t speak on my behalf, you know better.