Derober

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John:
Miranda Kerr is in a bikini for Victoria Secret’s latest catalogue. I celebrate Miranda’s entire collection. One time I got really angry at this dude outside a bar, things escalated quickly, and right when I was about to knock him out with a single punch a bus with Miranda Kerr’s photo on the side of it drove by. My opponent and I stopped and stared. It was beautiful…

And then I knocked him out with a single punch

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John:
Miranda Kerr poses topless for this month’s Men’s Style Magazine. To me, Miranda’s boobs are like an epic Animal drum solo… so rockin’ it doesn’t make sense.

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John:
Miranda Kerr and her boyfriend Orlando Bloom were spotted at the Canary Islands yesterday. Miranda talked about what it was like to be a supermodel and Orlando talked about what it was like to date a supermodel. I desperately want to make fun of Orlando and his sissy-boy motorcycle t-shirt but I cannot under Derober Article 5.0, The Supermodel Clause:

Any man, douchebag or otherwise, who is dating a ‘supermodel’ is exempt from scrutiny, scorn, or general ridicule for the entire duration he is dating ‘supermodel.’ This includes even SDB1 ranked bags (Stereodouchetonic Bags), such as Orlando Bloom and John Mayer.

Update: A girl hotter than Kerr in my opinion just turned 20 here.