Derober

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
My Gran Pappy Winston MJ. McCormick used to tell me as a young boy, “Women of that beauty are always worth paying attention to–but by God, Bitch, that doesn’t mean they’re worth listening to.” Of course, however, he was pointing to a stray cow at the time. But his words never left me none the less. So if you want to take a look at Nicole Scherzinger in this months issue of FHM, by all means do. But in the wake of a great man’s wisdom save yourself the trouble and avert your eyes from the evil temptress’ words. Godspeed fellas.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Just look at how miserable a human being Nicole Scherzinger looks like on her private boat. She makes the same cringe with her face that my dog makes when he scoots his shitty ass across the carpet. She’s looks like the kind of girl that if you dated she would give you the cold shoulder all day until she thought of something for you to do for her.

“Oh Nicole…you need another pair of Dior sunglasses..right…right now? But I just got you a pair..I….but…oh, they weren’t the right tint of champagne color. Ok, babe. I’ll get right on it. In the meantime would you mind kindly going and F#CKING YOURSELF!”

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
PussyCat Doll lead singer Nicole Scherzinger loves her pink. And so do I. I just wish she would have her driver turn on the car’s A.C. once in a while. You know, if not for me…do it for the kids. They have their whole life ahead of them.