Derober

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John:
At the very top of the list would be going to an LA convenience store with a gansta roll of hundred dollar bills. Who does that, honestly? Why not just strap a bunch of raw meet to your ankles and go fishing for sharks? If you’re a robber I’d start casing the West Hollywood 7-Eleven ASAP and you’re gonna’ start seeing some results.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Hey kids, do you like to play with Mommy’s toys when she leaves for work? Have you ever wished for something more?? Has the thrill of banging away on Mom’s drum sticks lost its edge? Well then do we have the solution for you. Introducing the new Russian made ‘Steffi Love’ doll is your favorite role model celebrity, Paris Hilton. The doll is modeled after Paris herself in looks and personality. It comes equipped with tripod and camera, a stripper pole, a strap-on, numerous changes of clothing and Paris’ patented herpe bumps. Who needs friends when you have Paris to show you how far the rabbit hole goes? So buy one today. Go ahead, go to town with her. Paris never judges. And neither do we.

Warning: previously mentioned accessories are not included with Paris Hilton doll. Doesn’t mean you can’t have fun though.

For more on the doll.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Everyone’s favorite blond punchline Paris Hilton actually made a rather insightful comment yesterday. On a Las Vegas radio station Paris commented on her former BFF Kim Kardashian’s ass. Paris poetically panned Kim’s ass by stating, “I would not want [Kim's butt], it’s gross! It reminds me of cottage cheese inside a big trash bag.” HAHAHA. Finally, something Paris and I agree on. A women who wears her ovaries on the outside…that’s hot. There I said it.
Kim went out clubbing last night. The Derobers think Kim’s ass is more like Exhibit A.

~ Exhibit A~

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Darby Gunpowder:
Britney Spears not only endorses Paris Hilton’s Wal-Mart quality ‘Bandit’ hair extensions, she uses them too! Britney claims they are sooo easy to install,

“After finally getting the box open, you simply place the hair on the bald spots, then cover your head with a potatoe sack. Then my manager Larry Rudolph throws a rabid squirrel inside the bag and it goes crazy. The squirrel is so excited to be puttin the hair in my hair, it does all the work for you. You know it’s done, when the Hungry Man dings on the microwave. Larry uses a baseball bat to whack the squirrel dead and when we take the sack off my head it’s all finished. Just like that -brand new hair. A quick shower gets all that blood out too.”

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Darby Gunpowder:
Paris Hilton tripped and fell right on her over-rated face in Prague over the weekend as paparazzi chased her and her dog-named boyfriend Banji. YAHTZEE!
When you’re Paris Hilton and you trip and fall down, it’s news. In my book, if anyone falls down it should be news. Watching people fall down is the worlds guiltiest pleasure and my greatest pastime. I LOVE IT. I would be the most miserable person in the world without the spontaneous effects of gravity. If only the world were made of ice staircases or oils slicks….well here’s to wishing.

Check out these never seen before photos of Paris falling down on many other occasions. Just brutally awesome!

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