Derober

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John:
Computer analyst Byron Ng found a loophole in Facebook’s security today. He used his new discovery to hack into Paris Hilton’s private Facebook account. Wanting the credit for the hack so his Dungeons and Dragon’s pals would make him a Grand Wizard, Ng immediately went to the AP. Its reporters were able to use an undisclosed method to access private photos on Facebook, including some from Paris Hilton at the Emmys and others from Facebook founding CEO Mark Zuckerberg’s vacation in November of 2005.
While most of Paris’ photos remain locked up, some of Zuckerberg’s private photos were leaked and they prove that the 23-year-old drinks beer and dates a decent girl but could probably do better.

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Leo:
I’m now one step closer to moving out of this country for good. Reality TV in general is the visual equivalent to snuffing rubber cement (I do miss high school art class). Paris Hilton’s new reality show, I Wanna Be Paris’ New Best Friend, is the equivalent to a lobotomy. We will all be dumber for watching this show -in fact, just reading this post about the show may kill a few dozen brain cells.
Hilton will choose from 20 “lucky” dumbf#*@ks to be her new best friend….
Continue Reading: Wanted: Paris Hilton’s new BFF

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…and God created douchebags on the 8th day. Great minds have always pondered this hiccup in creation. Are Douchebags (DBs) surviving descendants of Sodom and Gomorrah? Were they created by terrorists to infiltrate our society and hook up with hot chicks, thus driving sane men to suicide? We don’t know. What we do know is that they multiplying and opening spray-on-tan shops on every corner.
Paris Hilton is the latest victim of the DB epidemic. The former heiress is dating Benji Madden. I know what you’re thinking, Paris Hilton is a female douchbag herself, which is true, but it doesn’t discount the fact that she’s hot and hooking up with a counterpart douchebag. Madden-bag even gave Paris a ring with his initials on it: BM (Bowel Movement).
For hilarious stories of more hot chicks with douchebags, visit hotchickswithdouchebags.com and pray to God your photo is not on the site.

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John:
Paris Hilton went shopping for the paparazzi today. I believe those people behind her are actually clapping. “Hooraay, Paris. Did you see Paris carrying all those bags by herself? So talented. So brave. She’s come so far.” They seem to say.

That’s not just fancy Photoshop above, there’s actually a PS2 game called Buzz! The Hollywood Quiz. The game features over 5,000 movie-and-celebrity questions, 100 movie clips, new round types, and famous film characters as contestants. The Derobers got to test drive the game and we learned 2 things: we want to get drunk with the cartoon host and we really don’t know anything about celebrity gossip. So pick up your sticks and put all your useless celebrity info to use for once. Buzz! The Hollywood Quiz launches March 11th.

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Photo courtesy of egotastic.com.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Paris Hilton is to ‘class’ what Jose Conseco is to baseball’s credibility. I guess the hot thing nowadays is to pose like you’re on the verge of unleashing Niagara in your pants. Or at least 944 magazine thought so when they shot Paris in this shoot. If you ask me, I think the after picture would make a great lunch box picture for today’s youth.

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