Derober

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Leo:
I apologize if you think the above photo is bad form. It’s not meant to be funny, it’s meant to be send a poignant message. Smoking is the cause of one-third of all pancreatic cancer deaths; Patrick Swayze smokes 3 packs a day. . .

“Life sure has a sick sense of humor, doesn’t it?”

-Patrick Swayze in Point Break

Stay strong Swayze, you’re in our prayers. Plus, chicks still need a Ghost 2 and guys need a Point Break 2

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

John:
Derober has been reporting all day that Patrick Swayze is made of steel and weapons-grade titanium alloy. Sadly, he might be human after all. The New York Post is now reporting that the talented actor has pancreatic cancer. The average life expectancy is six to nine months, with only 4 percent of patients living more than five years. Patrick’s prognosis might be slightly dimmer we’re sad to say; as little as six weeks according to some. We wish him all the best.

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
As Derober reported earlier today, there is a rumor going around that Patrick Swayze has pancreatic cancer which has spread so rapidly that he only has 5 weeks to live. This was reported by The National Enquirer (who I guess pass as a credible news outlet these days) who say that the 55 year old has been getting radical treatments at Stanford’s medical center. However, the treatments aren’t working. Swayze’s publicist has yet to comment.

Ok, let me tell you something about the Swayze. It would take a lot more then cancer to stop him. He wakes up and eats a bowl of Cancer Flakes every morning only to shit it out every afternoon. He’s a modern day Bill Bradsky, or Chuck Norris if you prefer, and it is said that he can’t die. Last time Death tried to kill him Death ended up with anal fissures and couldn’t walk right for a week. I’m just saying. Patrick Swayze for President…of the world.

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Leo:
FoxNews.com is reporting that Patrick Swayze was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer in late January and that it has spread to other organs; he has 5 weeks to live. This kind of horrible news would usually ruin my March and drive me to the bottle, but given that Foxnews got their story from the National Enquirer -I’m calling bullshit. We’re not sure which part of the story, if not the whole thing, is bogus; we’re hoping the whole thing. Here’s the “story”, but don’t take our word for it,

For the past month, Patrick, 55, has been traveling to Stanford University’s prestigious cancer center in Palo Alto for radical chemotherapy, but his doctors are no longer optimistic that the treatments will be successful.

Patrick and his wife Lisa Niemi — who both have pilot’s licenses — have been flying their private Beechcraft plane into Palo Alto’s airport, minutes away from the Stanford Cancer Center, where the actor has received outpatient treatment.

He received three doses of chemotherapy and the tumor shrank, but less than his doctors had hoped for — and Patrick was told he should prepare for the end.

“He was told he could have two more treatments, but his cancer was not responding. In short – they held out little hope for a cure,” said an insider.

The man who danced into the hearts of audiences worldwide in the 1980s in Dirty Dancing and then broke them in the poignant love story Ghost in the early ’90s has lost more than 20 pounds in the past few weeks and is restricted to a liquid diet because he has trouble keeping down solid food, added the insider.

“It’s time to start praying for a miracle.”