The luckiest man on the planet has just been crowned.

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Dee:
It has been confirmed that Scarlett Johansson, Penelope Cruz, and Cruz’s real-life boyfriend Javier Bardem have a threesome in Woody Allen’s new film, Barcelona. Page Six reports:

“It is also extremely erotic. People will be blown away and even shocked. Penelope and Scarlett go at it in a red-tinted photography dark room, and it will leave the audience gasping.”

What does Penelope Cruz really look like?

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Photo by Ellf
Dee:
She still looks amazing. Did somebody say boob lift? I want the retoucher that worked on that to spice up my Match.com photos so I can be pretty too.

John:
I’ll photoshop your face, Dee. By the way, everybody, if you guessed that Dee is actually beautiful, she is. I’m done complimenting now. Penelope, get some moisturizer.

If you like this, check out our famous celeb retouch gallery.