Ashlee Simpson’s rack is pregnant too

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John:
Ashlee Simpson took the milk puppies out to dinner with Wentz Bag last night. Pete is really enjoying himself right now I’ll bet. Just wait though, Pete my boy. Soon, Ashtray’s body will grow proportional to the massive mammaries and vacation over. It’s like when a really cute puppy gets all big and you just don’t love it as much as you used to when it was tiny but with big tits and….I’m getting a little lost here.

Update: These 2 clowns are getting married next week!

Update 2: The rumor mill is buzzing with whispers of cheating! Who? When? Where? More to come!

For all Dress Diving episodes, click here.

Wal-Mart is cheap with celebrities too…

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John:
Wal-Mart is rolling back the prices on the talent these days. Rumer Willis, Kristin Cavallari, Christina Milian, Josie Maran, Pete Wentz a.k.a the ‘Wentz’ Bag’, Corbin Bleu and Wilmer Valderrama whored themselves team up for Wal-Mart’s newest ad campaign for the spring/summer launch of Op. Each of the has-beens and never-will-be’s was paid in cigarettes and lottery tickets.
On a brighter note, I wore Op swim trunks as a diaper until I was 12 and they are very absorbent.

Related Shit: Here at Derober, we’ve made Pete Wentz a personal project of ours. Check out all things Wentz Bag here.

Ashlee Simpson is pregnant–still hate her

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Though it hasn’t been confirmed by Ashlee Simpson’s publicist (yet), x17online.com along with about the entire internet are reporting that Ash is pregnant. And not with power this time but with an actual baby. I’ve already begun to pick out a few names for the happy baby, so here goes:
For Boy
-Bag O. Wentz Jr.
-15 minutes
-Son Ova Bitch
-Jeffrey Dahmer…Wentz
-Damien Wentz
If Girl
-Ashtray Simpson
-Investment 1
-Little shop of Horrors Simpson
-Ashlee N. IQ Jr.–And By N. I mean No….because she’s retarded
-Space Taker Simpson

Any suggestions from the Peanut gallery???

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz ‘were’ on the beach…

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Bob ‘The Bitch’
:
A great drunk man once told me, “when in doubt always double down.” So when you see the opportunity to ridicule two talentless bags of retard like Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz at once, you have no choice but to seize the moment. And if you don’t believe me just click here to see the infamous video of the two laughing about Hurricane Katrina and the crisis in Africa. It’s 100% real, and it will test your gag reflexes so be sure to watch on an empty stomach. Good luck, and Godspeed.

Ashlee Simpson smells of chum

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Darby Gunpowder:
Here’s some boring photos of Ashlee Simpson in a yellow bikini. For a second I though this newly gingerfied dame was kinda smokin, until I realized who it was. I give these pics “2-shits” on my shit meter, which by the way maxes out at 2. The only way I would give a shit is if Simpson and her living-miscarriage of a boyfriend Pete Wentz, were wading in shark infested waters.