Nobody ties George Clooney down. NOBODY!

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
It’s that time of year again isn’t it ladies and gentlemen? That time of year where you clear out your pog collection and other worldly belongings in hopes of making a fresh start. That’s right, it’s house cleaning time again!! George Clooney knew that. And that’s why he kicked things off right by dumping his long time prostitute girlfriend Sarah Larson. In Touch Weekly is reporting that the couple has split up over differences in their respective backgrounds.”The truth is they had little in common and [George] just doesn’t want to be tied down,” one of Sarah’s friends tells the mag.

And I say Horaay for single men everywhere. It’s good to have an excuse for all your friends and family on why you’re over forty and not married–“because if George does it, by God so can I!” So rejoice and give praise single men. Give praise to the ultimate cock of the walk in George Clooney.

Clooney’s girlfriend is still a rock star

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Up until last week, everybody thought Sarah Larson seemed like Clooney’s quiet accessory; a behind-the-scenes pillar of strength for the man. We were mistaken. Larson is a certified freak. The Sun has leaked a new set of photos from Larson’s Vegas days we’re calling her ‘bondage period.’
I don’t know if Sarah has a fan club but if she does, I’m going to be president of it. As president, I decree this day to be Sarah Larson Rockin’ Body Day. It’s catchy, huh? Wait, is today already a special day? Shit.

George Clooney’s girlfriend is a rock star

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These photos were taken one month before Sarah Larson met George Clooney and punched her golden ticket. At the time she was working in ‘client relations’ at the Palms casino which is a nice way of saying ‘cocktail waitress.’ There is a heartwarming picture of Sarah straddling a lucky boy below. Now, I’ve been really hard on Sarah recently so I think it’s time for me to say I’m sorry.
Sarah, I’m sorry about the ‘Blowing an American icon‘ piece I did on you a few months back. I didn’t know you had a super-fine ass and at the time but you were on crutches at the time so fair play.
I also ‘pologize for the ‘Big Mistake‘ expose we did when we heard rumors that you and Clooney were getting married in Italy. Any nice boy would be lucky to have you. Good luck, Sarah. Your ass is tone and newsworthy.

Clooney and Fabio fight. Derober’s exclusive photos.

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Actor Fabio was dining with friends at Madeo in LA when one of them took a picture close to a table Clooney was sharing with his girlfriend Sarah Larson.

According to In Touch Weekly magazine, Clooney thought the photographer was trying to take shots of him and asked her to stop — a request that annoyed his fellow diner.

The magazine reports Fabio went over to Clooney’s table to explain, but the conversation became heated, and the long-haired actor was overheard telling the “Ocean’s Eleven” star, “I thought you were a nice guy. Stop being a diva!”
The encounter reportedly prompted angry Clooney to stand up and approach Fabio.
An eyewitness tells In Touch, “The waiters broke it up before it got out of hand.
“George looked annoyed. … George was drinking but he wasn’t drunk.”

Yes! This is the kind of hysterical stuff that can only happen in LA. How surreal must that have been? A romance novel sex symbol (in the twilight of his career) and George Clooney about to fight. And Fabio calls George a Diva! Was it backwards day? I would have paid good money to be a fly on the wall at Madeo’s.

What does a girl have to do to be Clooney’s flavor of the week?

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Photo courtesy of

John Writes:
When Sarah Larson was a finalist on ‘Fear Factor’, I wonder if she was thinking, “OK Sarah girl, just down this last scorpion martini and you might get the chance to blow and American icon.” I wonder if he calls her scorpion breath to be funny. Nah, I’m sure George doesn’t know her last name yet. Give it time.

Leo Writes:
Love Sarah. Love the crutches. Love scorpions.

Bob ‘The Bitch’ says:
Yeah, I say George Clooney can get any girl he wants so why not let him have fun with this flavor of the week? I mean Sarah is a beautiful woman.

Leo says:
That’s all you’v got…don’t ever speak unless spoken to. So, I guess that means you should never speak at all.