Pressing Questions: How tall is a Smurf and where is my beer?

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

A new Smurf film has been announced. I always wanted to know how big a Smurf really is? I know most people are preoccupied with the more obvious questions: Do smurfs have reproductive organs? – Brainy Smurf is hung like a mule-deer. Also, is Poppa Smurf gay?- queer as a football bat. I just wanna’ know how freakin’ tall those lil’ f*ckers are so I did some research and the common answer is that smurfs are three apples tall. Thoughts? Also, I seem to have lost my beer. And I had just opened it.
For an over-wrought debate on smurf height, click here. If you just wanna’ see Keeley Hazell naked instead, click here.