Derober

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Let me start off by saying that Sophie is no monk. She’s a cold blooded sex goddess from the bowels of hell. She eats men’s souls for breakfast and women’s hopes for lunch. So when I say I should never have gotten involved with her hopefully you’ll heed my advice. She’s a devious swindler with the aspiration to provide men everywhere with nothing but blue balls. And that’s it. I still can’t piss right.

Do NOT glance at these Sophie Monk pictures!

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
When Ryan Seacrest put his big-boy boots on, dressed in his finest suit and climbed a ladder to ask Sophie Monk out, her response was simple, ‘Sure, you’re rich.” In addition to Seacrest’s wealth, Sophie felt sorry that such a cute smurf was trying so hard to win her affection. It reminded her of her favorite pastime of watching midgets trying to board roller coasters–sad, but adorable. And ultimately this is an upgrade for Monk as she was previously seen dating Benji Madden who I swear has rabies.

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