Derober

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Heidi and Spencer finished only one episode of ‘I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here!’, and then quit, like little bitches. TMZ reports,

A source close to production tells TMZ the “Hills” duo walked off the set for good after the live portion of last night’s show. It is unclear how the show will handle their leaving on tonight’s episode.

They thought the show they signed up for was called, ‘I’m a Douchebag…Get Me more Ed Hardy gear!’ The second they realized no Ed Hardy or Affliction shirts were being given away as prizes, they went ape-shit and stormed off the set, tripping over their clownshoes.

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John:
So Heidi bought Spencer a ’68 Camero for an early wedding gift. Another early wedding gift Heidi gave Spencer ‘was itchy not as fun down there.’ So the lesson in all of this is don’t let your girlfriend take a ‘girl’s weekend’ in Tijuana and if you do, you might get the gift that keeps on giving.

Ahhh, true love.

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

John:
At first I was mad at Snoop for posing with these clown shoes. But then I realized he was just being a nice guy. Snoop has a new club, Dogg after Dark. It’s probably only the coolest place on the planet…or it was until he let these two vagrants into the place. I’m giving away a sacked lunch to the first person who explains to me how Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt got famous.

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
You know it’s times like this that I wish I had more time. The utter chaos I could cause these two human beings on a daily basis sends shivers down my testis. The good shiver too like the one your feel when you drive your car over the peak of a hilly road, not the kind you get when you jump into a tank full of cold shrimp. We’ve all been there am I right? Anyways, these eerily hot and yet horribly disgusting pics of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were taken on the beaches of Cabo San Lucas. But the only thing more amazing than Heidi’s tits and ass are the amount of opportunities the two have to be killed…by me. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel, or robbing your grandma’s antique shop around the corner. I told you G-ma, you better upgrade that security or I’m going to continue to steel sh#t. Just saying. I can’t stop myself.

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Looks like Derober’s favorite special Olympic couple just got hitched. And how adorable do they look, huh? Like watching two monkeys jack off at the zoo while you slowly peel a banana in front of them. Apparently, ‘The Hills’ stars decided to elope in Mexico over the weekend. And why am I not surprised. Two piles of genetic waist decided that the most fitting place to get married was in the world’s finest waist basket. F#ck off, Paris! No one wants your romantic propaganda when they can get married in a geographical outhouse for free. So kudos to Heidi and Spencer. Now if you don’t mind I’m going to cut off my left ear and down a bottle of Jack and qualudes.