Derober

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

~Keep rolling. I just couldn’t stop ~

Darby Gunpowder:
At first, I thought this was Brook Hogan, but then I noticed the pink case on her Blackberry and realized it was indeed an M-1 Abrams tank. Serena Williams needs to quit tennis and team up with Jean Claude Van Damn to single handedly win the war in the Middle East. It’s science.

Ever wondered what it would be like to be a race car passenger? The Derobers got drunk last night and put this video together of Race Car passengers soiling their drawers. Pump up the volume!

In the words of late, great comedian Mitch Hedberg,

“I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide…”

Click HERE or to view larger image

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Darby Gunpowder:
When my buddy Ed first gushed about the hottest Olympic athlete ever, Paraguay’s Leryn Franco, I was hesitant at first, but when I saw her, I conceded that his taste in women had finally matured. My second thought was, this bitch would rip my heart out. Literally. I don’t know why, maybe it’s the giant javelin she wields, maybe it’s the steely look in her eyes. Either way, it’s sexy as hell. If I were on death row, I would choose death by Leryn Franco please. On top of representing Paraguay in the javalin toss, homegirl was runner-up in the Miss Paraguay competition in 2006 and also in the Miss Bikini Universe pageant the same year. That’s almost as impressive as John taking home the gold in the Special Olympics for fastest drool wipe.

Make sure to check out the high-res photos of Leryn below -they will not disappoint.

Darby Gunpowder:
That’s not true at all…but it could be. However, Jose did claim that Madonna wanted him to knock her up with a baby human.  Seeing that Jose is full of hot air, HGH, lawn darts and cotton candy -there is a good chance this story is bogus. Hooked On Phonics led Jose to say this to US Weekly,

“She wanted to get married and have a child with me — she wanted a Cuban child,” he tells Us.
Canseco recalls: “We went downstairs [at her house in the Hollywood Hills] and she came over and said, ‘What would you do if I kissed you?’ and then sat on my lap and kissed me.”
Madonna even offered to support him if he split with his wife. “She said, ‘I have lots of money. Don’t worry about that,'” Canseco tells Us.

We should all sleep just a little bit better knowing that these 2 jacked-up space cadets did not reproduce.