Derober

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~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Darby Gunpowder:
Apparently Suri Cruise has her own apartment in NYC…and it’s a giant playroom. I’m picturing the movie “Big”, mixed with “Toy”, mixed with “Cocktail” I want to hang out there! I can see it now, I’m on the trampoline (drunk) flying a remote control helicopter in my Pj’s, Suri’s in the corner charging her batteries after an intense game of laser-tag (she used her own built-in laser), and Tom’s at the wet bar slingin’ bottles and high-fivin’ Bryan Brown. Heaven.

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Darby Gunpowder:
Suri and her gypsy mother, Katie, were chased down a Brentwood street by aliens. There is no evidence to back this up, but they started running like they were on fire for no reason at all. My best educated guess is Xenu sent 2 aliens back in time to kidnap Katie and Suri for a one gazillion Fladalions (= $3,043,000,000,000 US dollars) ransom. Katie’s tubby Galactic Confederacy soldiers (bodyguards) couldn’t even keep up. I hope they escaped the clutches of Xenu this week!!

Update: There was no attempted kidnapping of Katie and Suri Cruise. However the photos of Suri smiling and running do temporarily disprove her being a robot. That is, until we find out there is a more advanced version of the T-2000.

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
C’mon did you really think I’d blow up an infant like Suri? They have to be at least five years old before I resort to TNT dismantling. And I am firm on that policy. After all what is a man without moral standards?? Anyways, as you can see the Derobers would like to ring in Suri Cruise’s 2nd birthday with a bash. We apologise that we couldn’t find an alien space ship tree house for Suri, but we figure it’s only a matter of time before Tom buys one for her. So keep your fingers crossed on that one. And sorry to those of you out there who were actually hoping to see Suri get detonated. Like I said, it’s just a strict policy here at Derober. You’ll have to wait 3 more years.

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Darby Gunpowder:
Suri Cruise has been MIA for the past few weeks, so we obviously thought she fell down a wishing well. This is not the case. Thank Zenu!
Tom brought his confused miniature-Katie to a public park to play and ensure the general public that she was indeed a functioning mammal. However, Suri did not talk or play with “The Others” nor did she show any emotion during the outing. She was seen talking to lamp post, an electrical box and a trash can. Sparks were seen when she went down the metal slide and the only words she spoke to daddy were “oil-can” through clinched jaws. Sounds status quo to me.

Click HERE to see a photo of Suri’s dad impersonating Adolph Hitler (don’t forget to roll your mouse over the photo!)