Only magic will help Tara Reid and magic isn’t real

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John:
Tara Reid is holding the ship together with duct tape at this point. Here she is at the beach looking all sexy for the cameras. I can’t stress this enough but I used to have a huge crush on Tara. I wanna’ go back in time 6 years and talk to my misguided self and explain Tara’s bleak future. Then I’ll suggest that perhaps having a crush Emma Watson might be better and yes she’s only 12 now and that’s creepy but stick with it, she’s going to be the real deal.

~ Reid and JC Chavez together is a nuclear mess~

Dr. Drew: Addicted Celebs Need More Time in Rehab

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Darby Gunpowder:
Thanks Doc. I also heard that water is wet, there is an oil crisis, Florida is bat-shit crazy, and the Jonas Brothers are NOT virgins. Looking very smart, confident and matter-of-fact, Dr Drew has this to say about celebrity addictions (source),

“Today, in the celebrity world, we’re seeing an addiction epidemic,” Pinsky said, adding that the disease of addiction is more deadly than cancer.
“If you had cancer, you would drop everything,” he says. “You would take whatever time it needed to do the treatment and do what it takes to get out on the other side. Here’s a disease that is more dangerous, and we can’t get people to take three months.”
“I don’t like treating celebrities,” he said. “It’s not a group I would seek out of a population I would necessarily treat as a separate goal because they’re very, very difficult.”

In honor of Dr Phil’s Drew’s celebrity service announcement, we decided to show you just how dangerous drugs are. Lets take a walk down “What If” lane and see what your favorite celebrities would look like just after detonating their Meth labs.

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Two retarded people take field trip to beach

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John:
Tara Reid and a her buddy were spotted at the beach yesterday. Both had an awesome day talking to palm trees and hugging complete strangers.

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Photoshop helps Tara Reid sleep at night.

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Ewe.

Tara Reid is like fine wine

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Tara Reid has been putting in bikini-overtime making sure she is within shutter-sight 24 hours a day. Here she is again in Bali posing for photographers. We are told the photo shoot was for Ethan Allen’s Home Sweet Home Collection. It’s their best smelling leather chair they’ve ever made, just like grandpa used to own.