Brady can now committ to Hollywood 100%

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Darby Gunpowder:
Now that football is no longer in the way for Tom Brady, he can devote his entire schedule to the Hollywood lifestyle with now breadwinner Giselle. Bring on the goats! I can see it now, Tom Brady is the next Spencer Pratt. A no talent hack who is famous for nothing. And since Brady will be doing nothing this year, he’s a prime candidate. He’ll succumb to the Remora lifestyle feeding off Giselle’s crumbs, much like Spencer feeds off Heidi’s crabs. We’ll know when the transformation is complete when Tom is seen wearing douchy Ed Hardy clothes from head to knee.

Add insult to injury…? Sure

~Roll mouse over photo to derobe~

Photo courtesy of

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
People say it’s in bad taste to kick an opponent while their down. Luckily for me I’m Irish. Every girl’s dream QB, Tom Brady, may not be as pretty as he appears. According to Tom is actually going bald. About two weeks ago Tom strolled into a Seventh Avenue building in NYC that contained several medical offices: a podiatrist, a chiropractic practice, and a trichologist (that’s a hair restoration specialist)–stop me if you heard this one. PageSix first called the podiatrist (for his suspect right foot), but the receptionist there said, “No, he wasn’t here.” PageSix then called the chiropractic practice, but the receptionist there said, “No, he didn’t come in.”

Finally, phoned AMD Lab USA, a trichologist (you remember, the place for someone losing their hair), and was told, very pointedly, “No comment.”

AHAA! I’m on to you Tom. Your days of GQ and goat fornication are numbered. The Bitch is on your case.