OK, Tom, we get it

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John:
Oh! I see what you did there. You’re imitating the little Nazi in the back so people can identify with the character. Is there any way you can imitate a piano falling on your head? Is that in the cards tonight? No? Well, I’ll let you think about it but I really think a piano falling on your head would be a real crowd pleaser.

How does Tom keep getting Scientology money out of Will?

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Let me start by saying Will Smith denies that he’s a Scientologist. Ok, fine. However, if that’s the case then why did he donate over 122,500 dollars to various Scientology front groups last year and over 1,000,000 dollars to a Scientology based private school the year before that? Will Smith ISN’T to Scientology what Oprah Winfrey ISN’T to rich. Do the math kids. According to a Fox News report

He also gave a combined $122,500 to the Church of Scientology, broken into these donations: $67,500 to the New York Rescue Workers Detoxication Fund, $50,000 to the group’s Celebrity Center in Hollywood and $5,000 to ABLE, another Scientology offshoot. Smith and his wife have also supported a private school called New Village Academy they opened this fall in suburban Los Angeles that uses Scientology learning concepts.

C’mon Fresh Prince, lets hear the truth. I know you and Tom have many late “man nights” that involve hours of laughing, pillow fighting, Greco wrestling and games of Truth or Dare. Tom likes to make you do the Dares though doesn’t he Will? It’s ok, we all know.

The Victoria Secret Fashion show: once again better than a slow jack and a belly rub

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Darby Gunpowder:
The most beautimous dames in the world were out last Saturday at the Fontainebleau Miami Beach Hotel for the annual Victoria Secret Fashion Show -or as I like to call it, 2 spoons please num num num num. The show airs on CBS Dec. 3, 2008. and includes the likes of Marisa Miller, Heidi Klum, Miranda Kerr, Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrosia.
This event inspired me to watchThe Secret this past weekend and after watching it, I made my own vision board for luxury items I want someday. The smart people on the video said that if the picture is on the vision board, I WILL get it. I put one thing on it: a photo montage of the Victoria Secret fashion show. No Lamborghini, no Spencer Pratt tombstones, no 80 inch flat screen TV, no Tony Little Gazelle, no Sham-Wow!, no Asian hookers -just the Victoria Secret Fashion show. If I don’t go this next year, when all the legends are still around (aka not fat/saggy) it will be like watching the present day Chicago Bulls..

Guess the handsome gay couple

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Darby Gunpowder:
Tom Cruise is trying to clone himself using his wife’s body. This is a rare symptom of Napoleon’s syndrome, but it’s apparent the morphing process has already started. Katie’s once magnificent breasts (if you’ve seen ‘The Gift’) are shrinking, her hair won’t grow any longer, and she is wearing Tom’s suits -altered of course. We asked ‘MD to the stars’ Dr Saul Rosenburgerstienfeld for his professional take on the matter,

“In all my years, I have only seen this once before, when Michael Jackson attempted the body metamorphism on his chimp, Bubbles. He tried to convert the primate into a 7 year old boy. He almost succeeded until Bubbles suddenly died of an acute sinus infection in the groin area.”

Thanks doc. Maybe you should seek help yourself.

Here’s mini-Tommy and full-size Tommy leaving a Hermes party in NYC last night.

Celebrity Caricatures – Part 1 [14 pics]

Darby Gunpowder:
Welcome to the first installment of Celebrity Caricatures. Here at Derober, we hate celebrities, but these pics are too cool poke fun at -they speak for themselves. Roll your mouse over the photos to reveal the muse behind the face. Enjoy, and don’t forget to check out our homepage for the usual satire and T&A.

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Click Here to view the rest of the celeb caricatures.
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Continue Reading: Celebrity Caricatures – Part 1 [14 pics]