Derober

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By now you’ve all heard that Tom Cruise actually set up a fake audition for a fake movie to find a real wife. There were strict guidelines: “the girls had to be A-list, single, pretty and in their twenties”. This, I cannot argue with. He started with the cream of the crop and invited, Jessica Alba, Jennifer Garner, and Scarlett Johansson to the “audition”. Garnar and Alba smelled a rat and declined the invite when they finally stopped laughing. Scarlett accepted, but later freaked out when she found out the audition was at the Brainwashing Scientology Center in Hollywood. After watching a ball-dropping episode of Dawson’s Creak, Cruise extended the wife invite to sweet little Katie Holmes, and you all know how the rest of the kidnapping fairytale goes from there.

So what have we learned here ladies and germs? Katie Holmes was Tom Cruise’s FOURTH pick. Someone should really tell her. Here are directions to their house.

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It was too easy.
In real news, Tom Cruise and his brainwashed wife Katie Holmes met up with Will Smith and his soon-to-be-brainwashed wife Jada.
The power couples ate a meal of earth food at Beverly Hills hotspot “Cut”. I wonder if Tom’s major selling points for the Smith’s to join Scientology is that they’ll be instantly ridiculed, outcast, and shit-on by their peers/fans??

According to JustJared.com

Tom, 45, and Katie, 29, are reportedly hosting a $200K party for J.Lo’s new twins next month. The pair are also good friends with Marc Anthony and wife J.Lo. John Travolta, Eva Longoria and the Beckhams are expected to be on the guest list!

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1111 Calle Vista Drive, Beverly Hills, CA 90210
Click Here For Directions

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Tom Cruise and his half-human wife, Katie Holmes plan on moving back into their newly decorated Beverly Hills Mansion March 1st.
They have been holed up in a luxury apartment in Hollywood Scientology Celebrity Center -sounds lovely.

Purchase Price: $35 Million
Year Built: 1937
Bedrooms: 7
Bathrooms: 10
Square Feet: 13,000
Land: 1.3 Acres
Extras: underground UFO parking (handicap only)
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The movado watches or the cartier watches cannot be considered common digital watches like the omega watches or the gucci watches.

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Wow. According to MSN owned, Womans Day, Katie Holmes cracked and stormed out of a crisis meeting with the VP of Scientology, aka Tom Cruise. Katie has been putting her best face forward with the recent controversy involving her family and their zealot practice of Scientology -until now. Latest reports say she “stormed out of her house upset”. I don’t blame the poor girl as she is obviously brainwashed and that’s not healthy. Everyone I’ve ever known who suffered from a severe case of brainwashing has cracked. Remember what happened to Patty Hearst…?

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Dee:
Nancy Cartwright, otherwise known as the voice of Bart Simpson, has reportedly made the plunge into Scientology. According to Perezhilton.com Nancy donated 10 million dollars for Scientology’s Global Salvage effort, which aims to “de-aberrate” Earth. In Scientology terms that means to rid mankind of psychology ills and other “aberrant” behavior. Her 10 million is the largest donation on record. It’s more than doubles Tom’s 5 million.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
By ‘Tom’s’, are you referring to Tom Cruise? You have to be specific Dee or I’m never gonna understand you. When people think of Scientology, Tom Cruise doesn’t just pop in their heads. That would be like thinking of a dog when you heard the word ‘bark’ or thinking of the sun when someone said ‘our star’. These word associations are just too difficult for the laymen to comprehend.

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