Lindsay Lohan gets Derobed

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John:
Lindsay Lohan and her ‘girlfriend’ Samantha Ronson continue their European love-in. By the looks of Lindsay’s new gut, she’s almost achieved Euro-trash status. She has reportedly stopped brushing her teeth and shaving her armpits in order to complete the Euro-transformation.
I saw Lindsay this week on Ugly Betty. She had one line with Betty on a playground. It was the most the director could get out of her before she chugged a bottle of Smirnoff and soiled herself. Lindsay was unavailable after the lunch break.

Stewie Griffin Untooned

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John:
For all you Family Guy fans out there, this is a great new picture from the creative brains over at pixeloo. Enjoy and happy Memorial Day! I’m going to get back to the novel I’ve been writing.

Colin Farrell Redux, Cruz-Johansson Go Bi-Bi, More Juice Please…

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Colin Farrell is dropping way to much weight for his new film (DListed)
A clip of Penelope Cruz and Scarlett Johansson making out has surfaced (On205th)
Claudia Schiffer poses topless in Vogue (Stepfather)
A new way to search for hot ass chicks on the internet (Asylum)
The new Sex in the City sucks balls (Pink)
Lily Allen topless in Cannes (WWTDD)
Is Mariah Carey pregnant? (Stab)
The Maxim Hot 100 list complete with funny commentary (BedHead)

Amy Winehouse arrested yesterday on more drug charges (I would never have guessed)

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Our favorite bag of sour creme and onion flavored insanity, Amy Winehouse, was arrested yesterday for suspicion of drug use. The allegations were brought up in association with a video that was released a few months ago in which Winehouse was spotted smoking crack and downing six Valium pills (note that just one could kill a small rhino).

When questioned Amy growled, foamed at the mouth and proceeded to dry hump the sh#t out of one of the officer’s legs. It didn’t go over well. The officer decided that his previous plan to issue Amy a warning wasn’t enough. He clubbed Amy over the head, arrested her on the spot and placed an electric dog collar on her neck. Amy has been trying to gnaw it off ever since but to no avail do to a general lack of teeth. And all I can say is why are all the great artists so disturbed??

For more on the dryhumping man hound.

Beer Can Coffins, Monster Winehouses, Morning Juice Please…

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Man builds a Pabst Blue Ribbon coffin for himself (Asylum)
Winehouse has just lost it all together it seems (StepFather)
Full coverage of the Metropolitan Museum ‘s Costume Gala (Pink)
Tom Cruise is short and silly (BedHead)
Dennis Rodman goes to rehab (Stab)
More Rihanna hotness (JustJared)