Derober

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John:
Daily Mail reports that Tom Cruise is blaming Victoria Beckham for Katie’s shrinking waistline. Victoria is on a strict 900 calorie diet. Since Katie views Posh as a role model, Tom is laying down his pimp hand. It’s rumored that Tom is cutting Katie off from Posh a little at a time.
Somebody tell Ike Turner to slow his roll. Xenu is about to impose intergalactic jihad so what difference does it make if the wife wants to shed a few pounds and let the bones poke through?

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John:
Another photo from Posh’s Marc Jacob’s campaign has been released. Every time one of these photos is ‘leaked’, we hammer the poor Posh, here. It’s tradition. Posh is that dumb ass hot cheerleader we all knew in high school who married the prom king… of the world. She may have punched her golden ticket but that doesn’t make her smart. For Posh, reading a newspaper is like my ex-girlfriend during sex, she just moves her mouth and fakes it.  So I’m gonna’ stick a frog in her mouth and call her a bitch. There. I feel better already.

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John:
This is Marc Jacobs new ad campaign with Victoria Beckham. It sucks.

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David Beckham needs to teach his excuse for a wife how to tip. Katie Holmes and Victoria Beckham finished their lunch date at Mondrain Hotel’s Asia de Cuba and left no tip whatsoever for their waitress. The irate waitress stormed after the aliens to presumably scalp them, but she was stopped by their bodyguards. I expect this kind of behavior out of Posh, seeing she is from the UK and mildly retarded, but surely Katie remembers tipping from back in her human days. Or maybe the pair forgot that money, in the tangible sense, still exists.

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Dee:
That’s right, Posh Spice and The Children’s Television Workshop have teamed up to hide inside a bag and then sell that bag to you. Marc Jacobs picked Victoria to head their new spring ‘08 campaign. Posh actually posed inside the bags and was ‘a very good sport.’ It’s being called ‘brilliant’ by some dumb people who have money. Others call it -
John:
The most retarded thing I’ve ever seen. I have an idea. Why don’t we stick the American Gladiators in a bag and sell them? Better yet, let’s jam the political candidates inside a shopping cart so we’ll vote for them. We could cram my friend Doug’s whore-sister in a small paper bag so more people will pay her for sex. I could go for days people.

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