Derober

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
You know despite looking like a hybrid of an alien and the T-1000 robot Victoria Beckham is sort of sexy. I mean she’s no Megan Fox or Angelina Jolie in her prime but I’d still eat the chunks of corn out of her belly button. And she has that special quality look in a woman I dream of in that it always appears that sex is on her mind. Lets face it, we don’t see Victoria Beckham marketing sodas, tampons, children’s books and cotton candy. She markets sex, pure and simple. In this ad she is marketing Armani underwear. And you know what…I kind of want to buy a pair for myself.- That and rub one out on my keyboard. Judge me if you like, I value your opinion.

At the end of the day I can only think of one way this photo can get any better….

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John:
Daily Mail reports that Tom Cruise is blaming Victoria Beckham for Katie’s shrinking waistline. Victoria is on a strict 900 calorie diet. Since Katie views Posh as a role model, Tom is laying down his pimp hand. It’s rumored that Tom is cutting Katie off from Posh a little at a time.
Somebody tell Ike Turner to slow his roll. Xenu is about to impose intergalactic jihad so what difference does it make if the wife wants to shed a few pounds and let the bones poke through?

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John:
Another photo from Posh’s Marc Jacob’s campaign has been released. Every time one of these photos is ‘leaked’, we hammer the poor Posh, here. It’s tradition. Posh is that dumb ass hot cheerleader we all knew in high school who married the prom king… of the world. She may have punched her golden ticket but that doesn’t make her smart. For Posh, reading a newspaper is like my ex-girlfriend during sex, she just moves her mouth and fakes it.  So I’m gonna’ stick a frog in her mouth and call her a bitch. There. I feel better already.

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John:
This is Marc Jacobs new ad campaign with Victoria Beckham. It sucks.

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David Beckham needs to teach his excuse for a wife how to tip. Katie Holmes and Victoria Beckham finished their lunch date at Mondrain Hotel’s Asia de Cuba and left no tip whatsoever for their waitress. The irate waitress stormed after the aliens to presumably scalp them, but she was stopped by their bodyguards. I expect this kind of behavior out of Posh, seeing she is from the UK and mildly retarded, but surely Katie remembers tipping from back in her human days. Or maybe the pair forgot that money, in the tangible sense, still exists.