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Darby Gunpowder:
Welcome to the first installment of Celebrity Caricatures. Here at Derober, we hate celebrities, but these pics are too cool poke fun at -they speak for themselves. Roll your mouse over the photos to reveal the muse behind the face. Enjoy, and don’t forget to check out our homepage for the usual satire and T&A.

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Click Here to view the rest of the celeb caricatures.
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Continue Reading: Celebrity Caricatures - Part 1 [14 pics]

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Let me say the only drunk I know with superpowers is Bill Murray. In Hancock, Sony’s summer tent pole, Will Smith plays a hard-living superhero boozehound that saves lives but leaves far too much damage in his wake. Hancock is forced to reform himself because the LA municipal system is tired of cleaning up after him. The premise is quirky but a bit shaky. Join us as we explore the reasons this superhero movie could be the summer’s first super-flop.

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#1. Will Smith joined the cult of Scientology

I didn’t believe it at first (shock is always the first stage), but will Smith has joined Tom Cruise’s Messianic quest for alien supremacy. Together, Will and Tom will fight to bring brainwashing, extortion, and alien worship to its Xenu zenith.

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#2. Will Smith is no Christian Bale

I like my superheroes like I like my coffee, tall, dark, and in a black suit.

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#3. Poor signal strength

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#4. Hasn’t Will Smith has saved the world enough already

It started in ‘96 when Randy Quaid flew an F-16 up a UFO’s ass and Will Smith got all the credit. After the second Men in Black saving the world was old hat. By my count Will has saved the world from annihilation six times already. Is Hancock some sick way of handicapping Will? Did Sony figure he’d already saved the world with guns and science, why a bottle of Canadian Club and some B.O.?

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#5. Smith made the set of Hancock into a mobile Scientology promotion center

Smith set up a Scientology tent on the set of Hancock for curious cast members who wanted to put intergalactic black holes in their wallets. Also, On film sets it’s traditional for stars to give ‘wrap gifts’ to the crew. Smith’s gift when Hancock wrapped was a card good for a free ‘personality test’ at the local Church of Scientology. The personality tests are already free by the way. Being an outspoken member of Scientology does for box office earnings what lightning did for the Hindenburg. Proof here.

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. Continue Reading: 10 reasons Hancock will probably suck

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For all you Will Smith fans out there, you can stop holding out hope that your beloved fresh prince won’t be joining the “church” of scientology. Will Smith has officially stepped up to the deep end, and leaped. Homeboy and his wife Jada have taken the bait from Cruise and Holmes and are now balls deep in Zenu. An insider says,

“Will’s “been getting more and more involved (in Scientology), and it isn’t just him, it’s definitely Jada, too.”
The report claims that the Scientology Church has “also set its sights on African Americans, opening up a center in Harlem in 2003.”

Nice knowing you, Will. Never been a fan, Jada.

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It was too easy.
In real news, Tom Cruise and his brainwashed wife Katie Holmes met up with Will Smith and his soon-to-be-brainwashed wife Jada.
The power couples ate a meal of earth food at Beverly Hills hotspot “Cut”. I wonder if Tom’s major selling points for the Smith’s to join Scientology is that they’ll be instantly ridiculed, outcast, and shit-on by their peers/fans??

According to JustJared.com

Tom, 45, and Katie, 29, are reportedly hosting a $200K party for J.Lo’s new twins next month. The pair are also good friends with Marc Anthony and wife J.Lo. John Travolta, Eva Longoria and the Beckhams are expected to be on the guest list!

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Exclusive Scientology Family Portrait! Only on Derober.com
(we’ve been told this portrait hangs in the lobby of the Church of Scientology)

From Left to Right: Giovanni Ribisi, Beck, Kirstie Alley, Jason Lee, Greta Van Susteren, Danny Masterson, Suri Cruise, Kohn Travolta, Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise, Will Smith, Isaac Hayes, Leah Remini, Jenna Elfman, Juliette Lewis, Lisa Marie Presley.

We all knew that Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, and John Travolta were Scientologists, but there are a lot more celebrities worshiping Xenu than we thought…

Click on Thumbnail below to view larger (family) photo and pass it on to your friends . . . or else!

Here is a full list of Celebrity Scientologists: Continue Reading: Scientology: A Family Portrait

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Dee:
Will F%#*ing Smith? I really liked him. Page Six is reporting that Will Smith’s flirtation with the cult of Scientology has turned into a full-on make out session. The actor had this to say of the cult in an interview with Men’s Vogue:

“…but in all of the experiences I’ve had with Tom [Cruise] and Scientology, like, 98 percent of the principles are identical to the principles of the Bible. The Bible says, Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

John:
Let’s explore that outstanding two percent of this totalitarian cult shall we? Continue Reading: Will Smith has joined the ‘Church’ of Scientology

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