Derober

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Let me start by saying Will Smith denies that he’s a Scientologist. Ok, fine. However, if that’s the case then why did he donate over 122,500 dollars to various Scientology front groups last year and over 1,000,000 dollars to a Scientology based private school the year before that? Will Smith ISN’T to Scientology what Oprah Winfrey ISN’T to rich. Do the math kids. According to a Fox News report

He also gave a combined $122,500 to the Church of Scientology, broken into these donations: $67,500 to the New York Rescue Workers Detoxication Fund, $50,000 to the group’s Celebrity Center in Hollywood and $5,000 to ABLE, another Scientology offshoot. Smith and his wife have also supported a private school called New Village Academy they opened this fall in suburban Los Angeles that uses Scientology learning concepts.

C’mon Fresh Prince, lets hear the truth. I know you and Tom have many late “man nights” that involve hours of laughing, pillow fighting, Greco wrestling and games of Truth or Dare. Tom likes to make you do the Dares though doesn’t he Will? It’s ok, we all know.

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Darby Gunpowder:
Columbia Pictures seems to be on Columbia cocaine in their latest attempt to make a buck. They want to remake the classic Karate Kid and they want to use Jaden Smith, (Will’s kid) in place of Ralph Macchio. Pat Morita (Mr Miyagi) just rolled over in his grave. First of all, this movie should not be remade out of respect. Secondly, Jaden Smith is named after his mother and would get his ass kicked by a Tickle Me Elmo. This pop-culture piece of shit is also being produced by Will Smith’s own Overbrook Entertainment..hmmmm, coach’s son?
If they cast a Wayans brother for the new Mr Miyagi, so help me God.

Darby Gunpowder:
Welcome to the first installment of Celebrity Caricatures. Here at Derober, we hate celebrities, but these pics are too cool poke fun at -they speak for themselves. Roll your mouse over the photos to reveal the muse behind the face. Enjoy, and don’t forget to check out our homepage for the usual satire and T&A.

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Click Here to view the rest of the celeb caricatures.
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Continue Reading: Celebrity Caricatures – Part 1 [14 pics]

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Let me say the only drunk I know with superpowers is Bill Murray. In Hancock, Sony’s summer tent pole, Will Smith plays a hard-living superhero boozehound that saves lives but leaves far too much damage in his wake. Hancock is forced to reform himself because the LA municipal system is tired of cleaning up after him. The premise is quirky but a bit shaky. Join us as we explore the reasons this superhero movie could be the summer’s first super-flop.

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#1. Will Smith joined the cult of Scientology

I didn’t believe it at first (shock is always the first stage), but will Smith has joined Tom Cruise’s Messianic quest for alien supremacy. Together, Will and Tom will fight to bring brainwashing, extortion, and alien worship to its Xenu zenith.

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#2. Will Smith is no Christian Bale

I like my superheroes like I like my coffee, tall, dark, and in a black suit.

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#3. Poor signal strength

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#4. Hasn’t Will Smith has saved the world enough already

It started in ’96 when Randy Quaid flew an F-16 up a UFO’s ass and Will Smith got all the credit. After the second Men in Black saving the world was old hat. By my count Will has saved the world from annihilation six times already. Is Hancock some sick way of handicapping Will? Did Sony figure he’d already saved the world with guns and science, why a bottle of Canadian Club and some B.O.?

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#5. Smith made the set of Hancock into a mobile Scientology promotion center

Smith set up a Scientology tent on the set of Hancock for curious cast members who wanted to put intergalactic black holes in their wallets. Also, On film sets it’s traditional for stars to give ‘wrap gifts’ to the crew. Smith’s gift when Hancock wrapped was a card good for a free ‘personality test’ at the local Church of Scientology. The personality tests are already free by the way. Being an outspoken member of Scientology does for box office earnings what lightning did for the Hindenburg. Proof here.

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. Continue Reading: 10 reasons Hancock will probably suck

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For all you Will Smith fans out there, you can stop holding out hope that your beloved fresh prince won’t be joining the “church” of scientology. Will Smith has officially stepped up to the deep end, and leaped. Homeboy and his wife Jada have taken the bait from Cruise and Holmes and are now balls deep in Zenu. An insider says,

“Will’s “been getting more and more involved (in Scientology), and it isn’t just him, it’s definitely Jada, too.”
The report claims that the Scientology Church has “also set its sights on African Americans, opening up a center in Harlem in 2003.”

Nice knowing you, Will. Never been a fan, Jada.