Derober

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

John: Ahhh, Mila Kunis. I have to imagine this is a gas pump's equivalent to getting a hand job. The lucky pump's name is Winston, he's a Pacific Oil QS-9000. Winston talks to Derober exclusively about the Sarah Marshall star's cameo at the Beverly Hill's Exxon.

"I was having a pretty rough day. Some fat bitch with sweaty hands had just filled up her minivan. I was feeling pretty low if you'll pardon the pun. But then I felt these soft, supple hands wrapped around me. I've pumped for a few celebs in my days but nobody as smokin' hot as Mila. I blew my load hard into that Lexis coupe, man. Filled it up in about a minute. I'll never forget that. I'm just glad somebody took a picture of it so I can show my friends. They all said I was a f*ckin' liar."