Derober

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
C’mon did you really think I’d blow up an infant like Suri? They have to be at least five years old before I resort to TNT dismantling. And I am firm on that policy. After all what is a man without moral standards?? Anyways, as you can see the Derobers would like to ring in Suri Cruise’s 2nd birthday with a bash. We apologise that we couldn’t find an alien space ship tree house for Suri, but we figure it’s only a matter of time before Tom buys one for her. So keep your fingers crossed on that one. And sorry to those of you out there who were actually hoping to see Suri get detonated. Like I said, it’s just a strict policy here at Derober. You’ll have to wait 3 more years.

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My new flat screen is now endanger of a brick being thrown through it thanks to Heidi and Spencer’s new reality show. The dynamic duo is in talks with MTV for a reality show that would feature the road leading to their marriage/apocalypse. Spencer says,

“I want the world to see the real Heidi and Spencer.”

Well Spencer, I’m not a big fan of terrorists attacks and if Iran has their TV’s tuned in for your show, we’re all screwed. You would give them yet another reason to hate our country.

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Photo credit: Daily Stab (thanks Kelly!)
John:
Here’s another lesson in don’t f#ck with celebrity’s kids. The whole Beckham clan went out to Pink’s in Los Angeles for hot dogs to celebrate Posh’s birthday. Then this guy with a camera got too close to Poppa Bear’s cub and found out what it’s like to piss off a professional athlete. I have to admit, this picture has made me laugh all day. It’s just whimsical light humor the whole family can enjoy…where are my drugs? Bob! Have you seen my drugs?

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John:
For those of you who don’t know what it’s like to ride a Limited Edition My Little Pony Starflower into the cleavage of an 18 year old on a magical rainbow, I have some advice: Get a hooker, it’s probably never gonna’ happen.
Hayden is on the set of her new film, I Love You Beth Cooper. I’m going to see this movie. It’ll probably be a little plot-heavy with lots of twists and turns. Surely, I’ll keep up.

For all Derober ‘Dress Diving’ episodes, click here!

UPDATE: FHM’s ‘Sexiest Women in the World’  was just leaked to Derober. Hayden makes the cut here.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Ol’ Kim and her wrecking ball of an ass are up to their old tricks again. Whoring themselves out to anyone who will listen. In this case, it was a photo shoot in Australia for Ralph Magazine. I’d say it arouses about a 4.3 on my rictor scale. Nothing worth sweating over. But Kim’s cans are always worth a look..or two. So here’s to your boobs Kim, as my mid-afternoon cleavage appointment of the day. Thanks for coming out.

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