Derober

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John:
The pressures of starring and producing Dirt are rumored to be putting unusual strain on Fatty McButterpants. Courtney has reportedly dropped two dress sizes since the beginning of March and she was already a tidy size one. I have to admit I do watch Dirt and like it. I’m an entertainment blogger after all. So the Derobers would like to issue an open letter to Courney written by Bob ‘the Bitch.’

Courtney Cox,
We at Derober hope you get hot again like you were on Friends. Since you’re super rich, may I suggest a feeding tube that injects pork fat and vitamins into you on a timer. Or you could call my cousin, Dan. He told me he’s on the WhateverIWant diet and it seems to be working for him. He hasn’t been thin since he came of the tit, my aunt says. We just want you to know how awesome it would be if you were hot again. Cool.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Hermione’s is now legal and on the market. For her 18th birthday she was awarded access to the nearly $20 million she made for the Harry Potter series. I’ve been doing laundry and performing squat thrusts all day. And in case you’re reading Emma, yes, my portfolio is looking stout. My ‘86 Oldsmobile Custom Cruiser always has room for one more so give me a call.

UPDATE:
We have some photos from Hermione’s 18th birthday at Automat including 1 we must mark NSFW for all the perverts (myself included).

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This kid gets a butter knife stuck in his head and lives to butter more bread (Asylum)
Rachel Nichols is G.I. Joe’s Scarlett (JustJared)
Pete Doherty actual prison photos (BedHead)
Come see the last bit of Jude Law’s hair (Pink)
Ashlee Simpson is 100% pregnant (WWTDD)
Becks and Tom Cruise team up (Stab)
Michelle Rodriguez discusses her vagina without discussing her vagina (DListed)

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John:
Smoker Katherine is seen here on the set of her new film, The Ugly Truth. As many of you know, the Derobers don’t think to highly of Heigl after meeting her a while back. She chose to smoke instead of sign autographs. That story here. All in, she has all the personality a small rock might have if you asked it to dance. So, here you go, Ms. Dumpy Bottom. Have a crap day.

For all the Derober ‘Dress Diving’ episodes, click here.

Comments (5)

Tricia Walsh-Smith lashes out against her husband, Philip Smith, president of the Shubert Organization, the largest theater owner on Broadway. He’s rich, 25 years older than she is, and is kicking her out and giving her nothing.
There’s a 48% chance the video is staged and fake, 100% sure it’s entertaining. Either way, you gotta see this video.

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