Derober

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Photo courtesy of egotastic.com.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
So here’s Lindsay Lohan in the new issue of Paper Magazine. And I think I get it. Lindsay Lohan is going for the classy white trash look, which by the way I didn’t know was possible till now. But look at it on the bright side, at least she doesn’t have kids.

No follow-up to that statement.

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My future wife, Kate Beckinsale goes into depth about her our baby-maker in an interview with Allure magazine,

“I’ve only ever had about three boyfriends. Only a handful of people have seen into the Pharaoh’s Tomb!”

(I gave it that nickname) The interview took a buck-nasty turn when asked about “best physical asset” in which she gushed,

“My best feature is unfortunately a private matter, although I’m told it is spectacular. But you can’t really walk it down the red carpet. What can I say?”

I’m going to write my wedding vows now, excuse me.

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It was too easy.
In real news, Tom Cruise and his brainwashed wife Katie Holmes met up with Will Smith and his soon-to-be-brainwashed wife Jada.
The power couples ate a meal of earth food at Beverly Hills hotspot “Cut”. I wonder if Tom’s major selling points for the Smith’s to join Scientology is that they’ll be instantly ridiculed, outcast, and shit-on by their peers/fans??

According to JustJared.com

Tom, 45, and Katie, 29, are reportedly hosting a $200K party for J.Lo’s new twins next month. The pair are also good friends with Marc Anthony and wife J.Lo. John Travolta, Eva Longoria and the Beckhams are expected to be on the guest list!

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John:
We have to check a few sources here but we’re pretty sure this is legit because we know the sender. We’ll keep you posted. It reads:

John and Leo

I don’t know who leaked the news. I think it was Liz Smith at the NY Post. Hate to break it to ya’ but Lindsay’s never doing playboy. Ever.
I just got off the phone with her and she hadn’t heard the news yet. She was meeting with her lawyer who’s insuring her for her next film. Needless to say, she was fucking fumed. She told me I’m not fucking doing Playboy! She said (they) called her publicist and asked her to do that 20 questions thing but never mentioned doing a spread. Also, you guys need to be nicer to Lilo, she’s had a rough year so back off. I still love you guys except for Bob. Now send this out to all your blogger buddies and fix this situation.

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Photo courtesy of x17online.com.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Walking the mean streets of NYC took on a whole new meaning today for Paris Hilton. But thanks to her new Real-D glasses she got to see her own death 3D. Who could ask for more?

Ok, I know I know, we all want to see the follow-up to this photo in a month where Tyrone-Rex shits out the remains of Paris. But I’m just one man, people. I only have two hands, and one of em is busy right now.

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