Derober

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The Guinness book of world records thinks Jyoti Amge is the smallest person in the world. They are incorrect. The Derobers are clearly much more vertically challenged than the “Jyoti the Giant” as we call her.
According to bitsandpieces.us,

“Jyoti Amge, 14, is shorter than the average two-year-old child and only weighs 11lb (5kg). She has a form of dwarfism called achondroplasia and won’t grow any taller than her current height.
Due to her size, Jyoti has to have clothes and jewellery made for her. She sleeps in a tiny bed and uses special plates and cutlery to eat, as normal-sized utensils are too big. Despite this, she goes to a regular school in Nagpur, central India, where she has her own small desk and chair, and her classmates treat her like any other student.”

Boo-effin-hoo. Try finding condoms or blow-up dolls that cater our condition. On the upside, John has clearly mastered the sport of celebrity dress-diving.

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Darby Gunpowder:
Katie Couric’s CBS News’ ratings are dropping worse than her old boobs and it’s rumored she’ll be canned well before her 5 year contract is over. There’s a slim chance she’ll be taking Larry King’s position in 09 when his contract is up, but we think she should just get her ass back in the kitchen where it belongs. Oooooohhhhhhhhh! Seeeeexxxxxiiiiiiiiiiist!

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Darby Gunpowder:
Have you ever been in the middle of reading something -say Playboy for example, and thought to yourself: “huh, I don’t give a shit about this and have no idea why I am reading it.” Yes? Good, so you can empathize with why you are reading a post about Katie Price’s new children’s book. She’s not naked and she’s wearing a hideous mermaid costume that some soccer mom made. So why is this post somewhat humorous? Katie never even wrote the book, Perfect Ponies: My Pony Care Book, her ghostwriter did. The kicker: it won the WH Smith Children’s Book of the Year -the effing “Oscar’s” of the book trade. Good fact checking committee.

PS What parent in their right mind buy a children’s book written by a porn star?

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
South Park was right…Miley Cyrus’s Hannah Montana is the new Britney Spears. Pray this year’s celebrity harvest is even better than the last.

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John:
Kim Kardashian is spotted here at her own house filming an episode of her show, Keeping up with the Kardashians. There is very little about Kim’s life that is real. If you can’t sit around your own house with your friends having farting contests without a camera catching every moment, life just isn’t worth living. This girl is dumber than a sack of hammers and yet she’s making money. Hell, I’m talking about her right now. I probably just helped sell two more baby t-shirts from her Smoochy infant clothing line.
Disclaimer: T-Shirts may cause baby to grow up to be a huge slut.

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