Scientology makes you fat

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Kristie Alley got the boot from Jenny Criag for nearly eating herself to death. Surprise! So the logical thing to do in this situation is start your own weight loss brand, which Kristie is doing. She plans on launching the “worst-diet-ever” in 2009. We hear the diet will consist of living in a Rascal Scooter and eating everything in site. I see dollar signs Kristie…

Why does Will Ferrell dress like this??

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Photo courtesy of perezhilton.com.

Bob ‘The Bitch’
:
The other night at the premier of his new film Semi-Pro, Will Ferrell showed up looking the part…for say Raiden from Mortal Combat. I’m telling you, put that crazy hat on and it’s a spot on match. But I doubt Ferrell gives a damn. And that IS what makes him Will Ferrell. Rock on Will.

Britney doesn’t miss her kids

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Dipshit, Britney Spears has been teaching children dance classes at Millennium Dance Complex in an attempt to forget about the 2 sons she gave birth to and slightly raised/managed not to kill. Who are the star-struck parents that trust their kids with Mrs Hyde?! US Weekly writes,

“Her home has pictures of her kids everywhere.”

Well we got our hands on one (above). Kids do the darndest things!

Which of these girls made a sex tape with Gene Simmons?

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John:
Gene Simmons and one of the Frank’s Energy Drink girls have made a sex tape. Her name is Elsa if anybody cares. Gene is selling the tape on his website, Gene’s Secret. Gene says he endorsed the Drink because it “Fuels my sex drive.” The Derobers have seen the tape and it took us 5 minutes to figure out that Gene wasn’t dead, thank Christ. The man’s a legend. Wow. I thought he was dead or possibly stroking out but I guess he really is fine.
In related news, the Franks Energy Girls will be at the Inglewood 7 Eleven this Thursday on Slauson Ave. Stop in for the foot long. Stay for the sex.

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Ryan Reynolds added to cast of X-Men

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John:
Ryan Reynolds has signed on to the new film, X-Men Origins: Wolverine. He will play the part of Deadpool, Wolverine’s drunk half-cousin. And while Deadpool is not always the best superhero, he’s always the life of the mutant party. Tonight, the Derober’s tip our 40 oz. of Mickey’s Malt to you, Deadpool.

Spoiler Alert: Deadpool dies in the middle of X-Men in a domestic dispute during which his father, Deadpool Sr., freezes ‘Pool Jr.’ then swallows him whole moments after telling him he was adopted.

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