Derober

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Photo courtesy of popsugar.

Dee:
Johnny-boy is in the holiday spirit. He danced all the way to the subway after a long evening at the Waverly in NYC. I love John. His energy is infectious!

John:
He is infected, that much is true. As everybody knows, I had a girlfriend long ago leave me for 5 men, all of whom took her to John Mayer concerts. The salt will never leave the wound in the gaping hole where my heart used to be.

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Dee:
The rumors are true. In an interview with Telegraph UK, Sacha discusses his decision to retire both his Ali G and Borat characters:

“When I was being Ali G and Borat I was in character sometimes 14 hours a day and I came to love them, so admitting I am never going to play them again is quite a sad thing,” he said. “It is like saying goodbye to a loved one.”

John:
I’m going to miss the crap out of those guys. Good luck Sacha!

Comments (3)

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Dee:
Britney Spears went shopping yesterday in a Hollywood Souvenir shop. For those of you who don’t live in LA, that doesn’t happen…ever. Only the most desperate attention seekers do such things. It gets worse. Britney is clearly heard telling the paparazzi, “She’s not pregnant.” This is the third time Britney has denied the pregnancy which puts her in the elite company of a really cool guy named Judas. Check out the video here. Either Britney has the inside scoop on a miscarriage or she is far, far removed from earth.

John:
I want somebody to ask Britney who the Vice President of the United States is! I’m serious, get the word out. I’ll bet she has no clue. I’m going to make some calls.

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Photo by Ellf
Dee:
She still looks amazing. Did somebody say boob lift? I want the retoucher that worked on that to spice up my Match.com photos so I can be pretty too.

John:
I’ll photoshop your face, Dee. By the way, everybody, if you guessed that Dee is actually beautiful, she is. I’m done complimenting now. Penelope, get some moisturizer.

If you like this, check out our famous celeb retouch gallery.

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Dee:
MediaTakeOut is reporting that Beyonce and Jay-Z secretly tied the knot a week ago and Page Six is backing it. Last week Jay-Z and Beyonce were married in a small private ceremony in Paris, France. According to their source, who is an EXTREMELY close family member of Beyonce’s, the couple chose, instead of exchanging rings, to tattoo a personal inscription on each of their ring fingers. In this case, the Roman Numeral IV. Wow!

John:
My dad used to say, “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed.” A lot of people don’t know this, but I was supposed to marry Beyonce. She was my destiny. We were going to have a child. It would have been an important child, a child of destiny if you will. I was going to pay her telephone bills as well as her automo-bills. Disappointed. Yes, that’s the word.

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