Derober

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Let me start off by saying that Sophie is no monk. She’s a cold blooded sex goddess from the bowels of hell. She eats men’s souls for breakfast and women’s hopes for lunch. So when I say I should never have gotten involved with her hopefully you’ll heed my advice. She’s a devious swindler with the aspiration to provide men everywhere with nothing but blue balls. And that’s it. I still can’t piss right.

Do NOT glance at these Sophie Monk pictures!

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Darby Gunpowder:
The latest promos for the new season of Gossip Girl are racy, inappropriate, presumptuous, illegal in North Korea, and make me feel tingly inside. **Golf Clap**. The hit show’s 2nd Season shoots it’s load Sept 1, following the sexy August promotion that is sure to increase viewership and bloodflow. I haven’t been this excited about a show since Tara Reid’s performance in Jackie Treehorn’s “Logjammin”. For anyone who thinks these ads are a bad influence on children, I suggest those people stop procreating and move to North Korea. Boom, problem solved. Done.

Update: I am in love with Blake Lively

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in case you missed it -you may poop your pants laughing, so be careful…

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~ Keep rolling, bitches ~

John:
OK, so here’s how it works: Kim Kardashian knows that the media is a making fun of her for her recent weight gain. So Kim woke up this morning and called a few paparazzos and told them exactly what gym she’d be hangin’ around. Then Kimmy walks outside the gym and gets her picture taken in her shitty workout outfit.
The tragedy is this is actually how Kim thinks you lose weight. She got home and told her mom all about how she put on her workout clothes and it felt so good and people took pictures. Kim was eating a chicken leg at the time so her mom could hardly understand her. But anyway, they day was magical and Kim was sure she lost like 2 lbs. while the paparazzi snapped away.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
This is what doesn’t happen to people who sit and read books. In fact, ladies, why are you even taking the time to read this post? You should be out there doing squat thrusts, ass sit-ups, tit-push ups, and getting a boob job immediately. Early bird gets the rack, right? And all though these ’spontaneous’ photos of Audrina Partridge by the pool are as real as her tits, I still would sell my soul and the guy’s next to me for one glorious motorboat in those heavely bags.

Remember, burning books are bad, but reading them are even worse.

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John:
Pictures have surfaced of Britney Spears teaching her child ‘how to be a Spears.’ Yes, that’s a diaper on the little guy. After the smoke, Britney is going to teach Sean-Preston other Spears’ family traditions like cardboard sled racing and grenade fishing.

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