Derober

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Dee:
The queen of respect, Aretha Franklin, told reporters that she is considering Halle Berry to play her in an upcoming movie about her life. The diva stated,

“I’m still thinking of several people, and that would be Halle Berry, possibly Fantasia, she’ll be through on Broadway in January, and it could be Jennifer Hudson — you never know. There’s no final on that yet. I’m still observing them and their projects. Dreamgirls I’ve watched a couple of times lately, and I’m still just trying to arrive at the right decision.”

Wow, I know Halle is talented and all but do you think that maybe Aretha might be a bit of a stretch??

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
To picture Halle Berry in a fat suit made to look like Aretha Franklin would be like imagining a tooth-pic trying to fill out the remains of a dead-skinned elephant. The semantics are all wrong here.

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John:
We must thank the following websites for propelling the ‘Trump Tip’ hoax to the front of Fox News’ and Huffington Post’s home page: WWTDD, Defamer, and Dlisted. We’ve gotten dozens of emails from newspaper editors from around America thanking us for exposing the ‘blatant laziness of main stream news media (Fox News).’ We never aimed that high of course. That would make us megalomaniacs. We were just hoping to make beer money for this Friday’s midget toss at Kilroy’s Tavern.
We promised many of you a new video of the hoax today but we’ve been so busy, it won’t be up until very late this evening. It’ll be worth the wait, we promise

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Photo courtesy of perezhilton.com.
Photo courtesy of ldpimages.com.
Dee:
Owen Wilson took a break from hanging out with Woody Harrelson in Miami to find his mojo again. He seems to have conquered a nameless rabble of victims on his vacation this weekend. I’m sure the boys will commend you, Owen.

John:
I commend you, Owen. Enjoy yourself. A few years ago, I worked as a waiter at La Serenata in Santa Monica. The owners can kiss my ass by the way but the food is amazing. Anyway, Owen used to come in late-night by himself with the LA Times in hand. He’d sit in the corner while people stared at him and Owen would read the paper from beginning to end. Sometimes, people would ask for an autograph or picture and he never said ‘no’ even though nobody likes to be bothered while they eat. Good tipper as well. A real class act.

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Dee:

FoxNews.com reports Mel B, aka Scary Spice, as being VERY touchy-feely with her fellow spice ladies. But it is Foxnews, so the story is probably a fake.

“She has tried it on us though,” Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham told Pop Tarts while pointing at Scary with arms entwined around Emma “Baby Spice” Bunton. “I’ve had to say ‘no’ so many times.”

“I mean, could you imagine waking up to this (points to Scary’s body) every day of your life?” Geri laughed. “I just can’t stop staring at your boobs…”

Wow. Scary. I can empathize with you Mel -John, Leo, and Bob are always trying to get me to make out with Victoria Beckham.

Leo
Now, now Dee. We have not limited our perverse persuasions to just has-been British pop stars… it can be any ol’ chick.

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Photo courtesy of egotastic.com.

Dee:
A recent story has been reported by Fox News (not kidding) which alleges that Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are planning to have a private wedding ceromony this weekend at one of the Carlyle Hotels in the Bahamas. Reports say that Minnillo and company already arrived on Friday afternoon.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Vanessa, why, WHY would you do this to me? Look what happened when Nick ‘wifed’ Jessica Simpson. He took a beautiful pop icon, and turned her into a farting, belching, tuna-eating house wife. Run, jump, swim, climb, or hitchhike your way as far outta Dodge as possible. I will be there in 20 minutes to pick you up.

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