Derober

~Roll mouse over photo to derobe~

John:
Enchanted held its #1 spot at the box office over the weekend taking in $16.4 million. Amy Adams, who plays the lead character, Giselle, a wide-eyed princess-to-be, is a hit. Yep, the chick with braces who almost married DiCaprio in Catch Me if You Can is a movie star. We do so rarely compliment celebrities on our little blog. But congrats Amy! Here is our unsolicited advice on having a long and lasting carrier, a road map for success if you will.

#1 Marry beneath you. Love is forever so a prenup won’t be necessary.
#2 Get pregnant immediately.
#3 Pose for Vanity Fair nude holding your belly.
#4 Name the child after a common fruit.
#5 Make three sequels to Enchanted.
#6 Get involved in politics, people are listening.
#7 Buy a Prius and adopt 7 children from countries ending with ‘Mibia.’

This should get the ball rolling. Good luck!

Comment (0)

~Roll mouse over photo to derobe~

Where? Marquee Club
Location: New York City

“I’m a server at Marquee. Pink showed up to an invite-only party hosted by a lame corporation. Pink and her entourage sat at a VIP table all night. They ordered bottle service and downed two bottles of Grey Goose and an expensive bottle of Champaign (I think it was Crystal but I can’t remember exactly.) Anyway, at the end of the night, Pink asked for the check. The bill would have been around $800 but the party hosts comped the entire thing. When I told her the bill was taken care of, Pink was really excited and appreciative. As she left, Pink pulled me aside and palmed me three bills like she was a badass. I assumed they were at least fifty dollar bills which would have been an average tip. So I went to the back of the restaurant to see. In my hand were three crumpled up $5 bills. I’ve been a server for a long time and nobody has ever tipped me so poorly. I hope you publish this story because I want everybody to know that Pink sucks. I gave her great service and she was very nice, but actions speak louder than words.

Comment (0)

~ roll mouse over image to Derobe ~

Photos courtesy of wireimage.com and wwtdd.com
Dee:
Britney Spears celebrated her 26th birthday with on-again-off-again friend, Paris Hilton at the Scandinavian Style Mansion. It blows my mind that these 2 uber-stars can co-exist at the same place without generating some kind of spontaneous combustion. One of their heads WILL blow up one of these days, take my word for it. I digress. Lets not forget to make fun of Brit for raiding the wardrobe department of Narnia to steal the White Witches outfit for the event.

Leo:
Good one Dee. Not really. Brit’s sweet face was not retouched or altered -she really did pose like a f#@ktard in this pic. I say good for you Brit. The whole world scrutinizes your every move so I on the other hand, will cherish these last moments with you before you spin off the planet for good.

Comment (1)

~Roll mouse over photo to derobe~

Dee:
It’s official. Reese Witherspoon is loaded. The Hollywood Reporter is reporting that this year’s highest paid actress is none other than Reese herself, who made a wopping 15-20 million. Just behind her were the likes of Angelina Jolie, Nicole Kidman, and Halle Berry, but no one could contend with Reese’s jawline. Personally, when I think of Reese I always imagine her trying to gouge my eyes out with her chin, but maybe I’m just paranoid.

Bob ‘The Bitch’
Every time I think of Reese I piss my pants and forget who I am for a half an hour. I guess I’ve never been the same since Legally Blond 2 came out–the nightmares…oh God the nightmares.

Comment (0)

Dee:
Before rolling over the photo below, try and guess who’s healthy butt this is.

more at twiigs.com…

~ roll mouse over photo to derobe ~

Photos courtesy of perezhilton.com

Comment (0)