What does a girl have to do to be Clooney’s flavor of the week?

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Photo courtesy of splashnews.com

John Writes:
When Sarah Larson was a finalist on ‘Fear Factor’, I wonder if she was thinking, “OK Sarah girl, just down this last scorpion martini and you might get the chance to blow and American icon.” I wonder if he calls her scorpion breath to be funny. Nah, I’m sure George doesn’t know her last name yet. Give it time.

Leo Writes:
Love Sarah. Love the crutches. Love scorpions.

Bob ‘The Bitch’ says:
Yeah, I say George Clooney can get any girl he wants so why not let him have fun with this flavor of the week? I mean Sarah is a beautiful woman.

Leo says:
That’s all you’v got…don’t ever speak unless spoken to. So, I guess that means you should never speak at all.

Perez Hilton Meets a Legend

 

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Photo courtesy of perezhilton.com

Earlier this week at the Fox Reality Really Awards Perez Hilton met the walking God amoungst us–Hugh Hefner. We may never know what words were exchanged between the two men, but this is what we imagine it might’ve sounded like:

Hey, Hugh

Hey, Perez

So Hef, how are things going for you?

Well, I’m old enough to be your grandfather and I have three of the hottest girls in the world slobbin on my nob every night, so in a word I’d say…decent.

Yeah, that’s impressive Hugh

I know. Now if you’ll excuse me the girls and I are gonna have sloppy sex. Cheers!

Ahh, it’s good to be the man.

Weekly Reaper

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Kanye West is on our shit-list for good. This no-talent pussy thinks he is the reincarnate himself. Here at Derober, there are certain qualitites that will land you a date with death.

So if anyone reading this, knows Kanye, please do him / us a favor and kick him in the junk.

The Rock shits out a blockbuster

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Dwayne Johnson, aka The Rock, aka steamy load of shit, has a #1 movie. Wow…I can’t say I’m surprised, the man is on a hotstreak: first The Scorpion King and then Doom…of course this movie was going to take off. But let’s face it, dumb people will bring their dumb kids and Disney knows that. Fucking corporations!!! Drink Milwaukee’s Best.

Who should continue having sex with Reese?

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Photos courtesy of www.sawf.org and www.bbc.co.uk
Damnit, why does Reese Witherspoon have to be so damn adorable? We’d love to hate her…but we can’t. So instead, we’ll figure out which of her suiters to hate: Jake or Ryan? Reese personally contacted Derober and said,

“I can’t decide which dream guy I want to be with, can ya’ll just take a vote to decide for me?”

Derober talks back,

“Yes, but what do we get in return Reesey?”

Her response,

“My S&M sex-tape library complete with ball-gags, whips, hog-ties, Ryan, Jake, jumper cables, and a mystery man wearing a leather face mask named, Machine.”

Offer accepted. Commence Voting! (video coming soon)