You don’t have to be ‘bionic’ to be a tool. Ratings plummet

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

John says:
Behind the scene sources told Derober that the second episode of the Bionic Woman had fallen into chaos. The episode had been retooled extensively and was full of one dimensional characters, Including Isaiah Washington. The ratings tanked. Better luck next week.

Leo says: I have not seen this yet so who am I to judge. I know my brother John has a pottery class on Wednesday so he didn’t see it either. Give it a chance.

Bob ‘The Bitch’ says:
I agree with Leo, we know nothing about that show. And the girl is hot which is always worth a look.

Leo says:
Bob, you think every girl is hot. You should judge shows on their content and acting, not on how hot the girls are. Now I know the show sucks.

Britney A No-Show To Court

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Britney Disa-Spears decided not to show up to court for her drug and alcohol test earlier today. I’d like to say that this comes as a shock to Derober, however though…it doesn’t. I mean what could she ever have to hide (see previous X-ray post of Britney). Top notch Britney, way to show initiative on your campaign to get your kids back.

American Gladiators are back bitches!!!

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

meaningtextforalttext

That’s right, a has-been to star in a has-been show. I can’t fucking wait! Ex-wrestler, Hulk Hogan is cast to be one of the new gladiators on NBC’s revival of American Gladiators. There has been no word whether or not any of the old guard will dust off their jousts and make an appearance. But I would give my left nut to see Malibu and the Hulkster beat down Johnny Contestant in a game of Powerball.This guy will be first in line to get tickets to the live taping!

meaningtextforalttext

Here’s Malibu giving one of his famous recaps from the good ol’ days:

Just in. Lindsay Lohan not coolest girl in rehab.

~Roll mouse over photo to derobe~

Poor Lindsay really isn’t even that popular in her little rehab pod. Our sources tell us that Prozac Jane is always amazing the group with her coy observations. And Nervous Jane made an ashtray in pottery class the other day that was not only chic, but functional. Rehab prom is just around the corner. Rumor has it that if Depressed Jenny can keep from killing herself, she’s a shoe-in.

Judgment is Passed Down on Britney

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Photo courtesy of perezhilton.com

Los Angeles Superior Court Commissioner Scott M. Gordon announced on Monday, October 1st that Britney must give up all both of her boys to Kevin Federline Calling Spears a “habitual, frequent and continuous” user of controlled substances and alcohol…” Let me repeat that last statement for you, Britney Spears has been accused of being so messed up that her kids are being forced to live with K-Fing-Fed. That’s like trading AIDS for HIV, or heroin for crack. Congratulations Britney, you truly have earned the title ‘Clusterfuck of the year’.