Q. Who is Heidi Montag?

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A. An attention whore.

Photo courtesy of thesuperficial.com

Keith Urban in motorcycle accident. Blames paparazzi.

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Leo Says:
Keith Urban was on his way to an AA meeting in Sydney this Sunday when he noticed he was being followed by paparazzi. Urban is normally pretty nice to the guys but was not happy about the circumstances of being followed to an AA meeting. Urban sped up, fish-tailed, and let go of the bike. The photographer stopped to help Keith and did not take any pictures. Keith is just fine.

John Says:
Keith should learn to ride a bike. Why didn’t he just pull over and talk to the guy. Instead he wanted to be a hero. Glad he’s not hurt. Now you can go home and drink it off.

Smooches for our favorite CNN news anchor

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Congratulations to Hershey’s Kisses on their 100th anniversary for helping ugly people get to first base!! Chocolate is a natural aphrodisiac, so we assume sexy little Nicole Lapin is too. We want to eat her up!

Who’s Brown Bagging it Today??


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Photo courtesy of egotastic.com

Wow, Courtney Love is just a bundle of ugliness. Derober’s only regret with this picture is that there wasn’t a bag big enough to cover her entire body. Keep doing the liposuction Courtney, the results are just as lovely the skin on a burn victim. Very natural.

Owen Wilson’s Dark Side Comes Out

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Photo courtesy of perezhilton.com

Bob ‘The Bitch’ says:
What do Bozo The Clown and Owen Wilson have in common? They both had a drug problem. They both attempted suicide (although, sadly, Bozo never lived to attempt it again. And both of there noses are famous for stealing the spotlight.

Leo says:
You know what else they have in common? Bob is one of their biggest fans and has been so for a long time. He has no room to make fun of those he envies.