Britney Says She Doesn’t Do Drugs. I Believe Her

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Photo courtesy of perezhilton.com

But the Derober X-ray machine doesn’t quite agree. I mean it’s one thing that Britney is on drugs, but a whole fish, bones and all–just sick. Oh Britney, if only you hadn’t gone fucking insane none of this ever would’ve happened to you.

Winehouse Blows The Audience Away

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Photo courtesy of perezhilton.com

As I stood staring at this picture in a stupor, trying to figure out what to say I realized…no words are necessary. What do you guys think?.

Ryan Seacrest Hosts the Emmies…

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Photo courtesy of enews.com

And Death took notice. That’s right, the sunniest smile in the world hosted the 2007 Emmies last night and we couldn’t help but take our finger and jam it as far down our throats to purge ourselves of this hay nous act. I mean while we’re at it why don’t we have Whoopi Goldberg host the Academy Awards…oh, she did that? Oh, what the Hell is the world coming too. I might have to jam two more fingers into my eye-sockets cause this shit crazy.

In recent light of the massive shout out Ryan Seacrest gave to our website on E! News, I would like to say that Mr. Seacrest is one of the few great talents working in Hollywood today. And though nothing says ‘I love you’ like the shadow of Death trailing you, I would like to point out that I’ve always been fond of the Grim Reaper. In fact, that was my Halloween costume 5 years straight…all those many years ago. Thanks Ryan, you’re a true professional. And on a side note, I loved you in Knocked Up.

Victoria is considering scientology or the 3rd reich

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Obviously, Posh did not learn from Prince Harry’s brainfart a few years back… In Victoria Beckham’s latest attempt to elude paparazzi at LAX, she disguised herself as a mass-murdering-fuck-head: the fuhrer himself. Dohh!

Photo courtesy of thesuperficial.com

Zac Efron hosts ‘Halo’ 3 launch party

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John Writes:
Zac Efron is a huge ‘Halo’ fan. He showed up to Bungie’s midnight launch party at Universal City Walk in LA. He seems pretty normal to me. Sure his girlfriend is a skank but who doesn’t like their women just a little on the trashy side? I like Halo so I’m going to ease up on this kid for a bit.

Leo Writes:
First, bro, I like my women none on the trashy side. This is why I don’t go in your bedroom for any reason, ever. As for Zac, I don’t like him. I’m never going to like him. I hope that soon, John stops liking him because I know he’s strait but curious. The liking of this kid has just got to stop.