Derober

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John:
Paris Hilton is shooting a video today and she looks great. And by ‘great’ I mean ‘idiotic’. If it wasn’t for the butlers, Paris wouldn’t know how to dress herself I’m guessing. If she thinks she can get by on her smoking hot looks and heiress fortune, she’s got another thing coming.

Life isn’t that easy.

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John:
Britney Spears is out on tour and apparently they are making stops at the Old Country Buffet. I don’t really know what’s going on in this picture but I counted no less than 27 fatal errors before I quit counting. It’s not that I got bored ‘er nuthin’, I just can’t count past 27.

Here, I’ll try. 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, potato

Damn!

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John:
20. She’s 20 and looks like a senior citizen so it’s appropriate that she’d be walking around the streets of Miami looking for a retirement villa. Let’s face it, she’s had a shit year and has a shit family and that’s gonna wear on a person. Not to defend her, she’s a mess, but I like my glass half full.

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John:
These are pretty bad here. These are so bad I actually feel bad for Madonna. I’m sure she’s on all fours hunting down whoever leaked these photos. Here’s some advice to the guy she’s hunting…RUN! Ran fast and hard, use the river and don’t sleep. You’ve angered that which should not be angered…

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John:
I didn’t know Kutcher was into oversharing but I’m glad that he is. Aside from the money shot of Demi Moore, these are the actual Tweets Ashton sent:

watching my wife steam my suit while wearing a bikini. I love God!
9:43 AM Mar 21st from TweetDeck

I’m not wearing the bikini she is that’s what makes it so glorious
9:46 AM Mar 21st from TweetDeck

shhh don’t tell wifey http://twitpic.com/2bj58
10:11 AM Mar 21st from TweetDeck

I like this guy. I really do. Good effort and thanks for sharing!