Derober

OK, I’ve had enough of this. I’m tired of sitting on the sidelines while this strumpet vexes America’s team. I’ve compiled a list of scientifically accurate reasons that Romo should give Simpson the boot …for good.

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

#1 Jessica Simpson is a Succubus.

suc·cu·bus Pronunciation Key - [suhk-yuh-buhs]
n. A demon in female form sent to drain the life out of men while they sleep.

~ roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

#2 Jessica Simpson is a Liar

Jessica Simpson claims to eat meat, but she actually feeds on the athletic prowess of her victims; their athletic souls. Nick Lachey said,

“Before I married Jess, I could dunk a basketball. I haven’t gotten rim in 5 years.”

Tony Romo says,

My finger hurts

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

#3 Jessica Simpson will look like crap in 10 years

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

#4 Jessica Simpson Isn’t Carrie Underwood

Carrie Underwood actually has talent

~Roll mouse over photos to derobe~

#5 Jessica Simpson Looks Like a Garbage Pail Kid

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

.
Continue Reading: 10 Reasons Tony Romo Must Break Up With Jessica Simpson

Comments (6)

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Darby Gunpowder:
Gisele Bundchen and her go-to photographer Nino Munoz shot the following set of pics for American Photo’s 30th Anniversary Issue. These photos are pretty steamy, but they could have been a notch hotter if a nude Petra Nemcova was involved. Petra is like the bacon of the modeling world -you can add her to any photoshoot and really blow the doors off the hinges.
I digress. The real story here is how well Gisele and her photographer Nino Munez work together. I can only imagine how many nip-slips Nino has encountered over the years -lucky bastard. He probably sneaks candids of Gisele while she’s preparing for shoots in the buff. Rumor has it, Nino has dedicated a secret room in his house that is covered floor to ceiling with these priceless voyeur shots. Pretty creepy, Nino…

Update: Pretty awesome, Nino…

Comment (1)

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

John:
I hadn’t heard of Vida Guerra until today and before I put her on our awesome website I had to find out if she was famous at all. Luckily, somebody created a site called FamousWhy.com According to them, she got the lead ass-shaking role in a Big Pun video after which her career fizzled. She returned to her day job as a loan officer until FHM came a callin’ and put that moneymaker front and center. Congrats, FHM model Vida Guerra, you’re ass is F-List famous at 34. I wanted to categorize this post really good. So if you look above the photo and below the title, I really think I nailed it.

Comments (2)

One of the greatest rants ever…

On a totally unrelated note, Keeley Hazell is naked right here. Just sayin’

Comment (0)

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Prediction 1

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Prediction 2

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Prediction 3

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Prediction 4

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Prediction 5

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Prediction 6

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Well after months of political feuding and heated debates election day is finally upon us. The race between Barack Obama and John McCain is about to be decided. It’s pandemonium out there. Not unlike the Beatles stepping off of the plane in America for the first time. I’ve decided to seek refuge from the stampeding mob outside by locking myself in a dumpster just off the 405. It’s dark, cold, and musty in here. Thank God I managed to bring my computer with my so I can send this message to anyone out there who will listen. I’m scared. It’s like Armageddon on steroids. For any survivors out there I suggest that you lock yourself in your house and arm yourself with anything you can get your hands on. Should you find yourself face to face with a person from a political party that’s not yours I suggest you play dead and avoid eye contact at all costs. Be brave people. It will all be over very soon…..God help us.

One more thing. If you live in California. VOTE NO ON PROP 8

Comment (0)