6 honest predictions about today’s election

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Prediction 1

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Prediction 2

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Prediction 3

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Prediction 4

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Prediction 5

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Prediction 6

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Well after months of political feuding and heated debates election day is finally upon us. The race between Barack Obama and John McCain is about to be decided. It’s pandemonium out there. Not unlike the Beatles stepping off of the plane in America for the first time. I’ve decided to seek refuge from the stampeding mob outside by locking myself in a dumpster just off the 405. It’s dark, cold, and musty in here. Thank God I managed to bring my computer with my so I can send this message to anyone out there who will listen. I’m scared. It’s like Armageddon on steroids. For any survivors out there I suggest that you lock yourself in your house and arm yourself with anything you can get your hands on. Should you find yourself face to face with a person from a political party that’s not yours I suggest you play dead and avoid eye contact at all costs. Be brave people. It will all be over very soon…..God help us.

One more thing. If you live in California. VOTE NO ON PROP 8

Shopping Cart Fail, Bugs Bunny Banned, Boondock’s Back, More Juice Please…


Watch a scene from Bugs Bunny that was so racist, it was banned (I-AM-BORED)
Whose hotter: Celebrity Halloween Edition (DoubleViking)
Fat women have more sex. Sad, but true (Asylum)
Porn moves you should NEVER use in real life (AskMen)
Homeless dude has a great Halloween costume (BustedCoverage)
Gemma Atkinson, ’nuff said (Uncoached)
Hottest Cheerleader in the NFL (On205th)
Boondock Saints II ‘All Saints Day’ is happening (BedHead)
The Sarah Palin stripper look-alike competion video (DonChavez)
So this girl is a real prostitute and I’d prrrrobably hit it (DirtyRotten)
Kate Winslet is pretty damn naked on cover of Vanity Fair (Celebridiot)
Heidi Klum’s Halloween costume is f*cking crazy, dude (Warship)

I have a better idea.

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~


Darby Gunpowder:

Britney Spears’ new album cover artwork was released along with her song list. Big whoop. Once again, society has proven to have the memory of a goldfish. Have we forgotten that Britney spun off the planet last year -shaved her head, lost her kids, found a British accent, attacked a car with an umbrella, gained 200 lbs and went to the INSANE ASYLUM?! But now she gets MTV music awards and is being praised for being “normal now”.
If Britney Spears put the infamous photo of her scowling face with shaved head on her new album cover then I would buy it.
Here’s her song list for Circus if you’re really that bored at work:
1. “Womanizer”
2. “Circus”
3. “Out From Under”
4. “Kill The Lights”
5. “Shattered Glass”
6. “If U Seek Amy”
7. “Unusual You”
8. “Blur”
9. “Mmm Papi”
10. “Mannequin”
11. “Lace and Leather”
12. “My Baby”
Bonus Track:
13. “Radar”

Joaquin Phoenix retires from acting

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
You remember those anti-drug adds back in the day that stated, “this is your brain…this is your brain on drugs?” Well take a good look kids because this is the human embodiment of that message. Joaquin Phoenix is literally unraveling before our eyes and in his own undoing he has decided to take his career out with him. It’s like watching lemmings leap unknowingly to their death. I want to help but for some reason I just can’t resist watching a man spin off the planet. Like a moth to a flame. Joaquin is a talented actor but in the midst of his drunken and stoned state he has done the artistic retarded thing and decided to focus on a career in music. Good luck with all that. According to Page Six: the actor showed up to a reading
blitzed as hell,

The two-time Oscar nominee (”Walk the Line” and “Gladiator”) showed up to a tribute to Paul Newman last week in San Francisco and “was out of it,” said one attendee. Other actors were performing scenes and readings, but Phoenix just got up and walked out. “He wobbled back in a bit later, but it was odd,” said our source. “He was slurring his words and was unsteady on his feet.”

It’s always a good idea showing up to recently deceased tributes stoned out of your mind. Keep up the good work, Joaquin. In the meantime can you learn to write messages on your fingers in the appropriate order so that we can understand them. It’s not ‘Bye!’-'Good’…it’s ‘Good’-'Bye!’. Moron. You’re like a kid who just huffed glue and then tried to make statement through a series of finger paintings. Just a sh@t show.

* * * *

How to fail a sobriety test

This guy holds it together for about 10 seconds…

I-Am-Bored.com - Sites for when you're bored.