Derober

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Darby Gunpowder:
Kanye West was just arrested at LAX for assaulting a photographer. This news just made my day. Kanye West is an megalomaniac and deserves a slice of humble pie…I just wish his music wasn’t so damn good. According to Michael Follis, the story of his arrest goes as such:

“Dude, Kanye West was just arrested for beating the shit out of a photographer.”

E!Online reports:

“Police confirm that the rapper was arrested this morning at Los Angeles International Airport following an altercation with photographers.

The shutterbugged West, 31, faced off with several cameramen in the American Airlines terminal. He allegedly smashed an offending camera, valued at $10,000, and wound up getting arrested on suspicion of felony vandalism, says airport spokesman Marshall Lowe. One of West’s bodyguards was also collared for felony vandalism and battery.

An eyewitness describes to the scene to E! News: “Some time before 8, Kanye and a big posse arrived at the terminal. He got out and a bunch of paparazzi were swirling around him…

“Kanye had on a hoodie and was trying to get inside the American Airlines check-in area. The paparazzi got close and one of the Kanye security guys got into it with a paparazzi guy. It was a quite a scene and cops came.

“This all happpened while his security was whisking him into the terminal…He hadn’t made it to security. It was just a mess.”

Investigators are currently questioning witnesses at the airport.

Both West and his unidentified bodyguard remain in custody at the LAX station. They are expected to be transported to the LAPD Pacific Division for booking later in the day.”

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Darby Gunpowder:
Christian Bale was arrested in London today in connection with assault charges brought against him by his mother and sister. Bale is still being questioned by police and has yet to release a statement. If this is true, he’s a real dick.
Update:
He has handed himself into police voluntarily over the mysterious domestic feud.
He went to Belgravia police station in central London earlier today and is still there, being held in custody.
When asked if Bale had been arrested, a police spokesman said “A 34-year-old man attended a central London police station this morning by appointment and was arrested in connection with an allegation of assault. He currently remains in custody.”
His family is not talking.

Innocent until proven guilty, but this still tarnishes the ol’ reputation. I can’t imagine someone on top of the world being angry enough to bitch slap anyone, let alone family, let alone women, let alone your mom and sister. Dick.

Update: I loved Dark Knight!!!

UPDATE UPDATE
The so called ‘Assault’ case is not over physical abuse but rather verbal abuse (which is considered assault in the UK). Are you kidding me, if that was the case I’d be the verbal version of Jack the Ripper. Grow up England. This is America, and we don’t give a shit about hurt feelings.

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John:
Andy Dick was arrested outside a Buffalo Wild Wings last night. According to TMZ,

Cops tell us they responded to a report of a person peeing in the parking lot outside the wing joint, causing a disturbance.
Once there, they stopped a van and found Dick in the passenger seat. He was arrested for allegedly groping a 17-year-old girl’s breasts and pulling her top down.
When he was searched, cops say they found weed and one Xanax in his front pants pocket.

The only way this could be more redneck is if the van was sponsored by Mountain Dew and the girl he was groping was his sister.

~ Andy Dick is a child-molesting bum! ~

Darby Gunpowder:
I just hired Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag as vigilantes to hunt down and shoot Andy Dick for crimes against humanity. They can smell their own.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Let me preface this story with a Naomi Cambell police rap sheet:
-2000, Naomi Campbell pleaded guilty to assaulting her assistant with a telephone and threatening to throw her out of a moving car.
-March 2005, Campbell slapped a different assistant and beat her with a BlackBerry
-2005, Campbell punched Italian actress Yvonne Sciò, leaving her “covered in blood
-March 30, 2006 in New York City, Campbell was arrested for assaulting her housekeeper with a jewel-encrusted cell phone
-October 25, 2006, Campbell was arrested in London on suspicion of assault
-November 14, 2006, another former Campbell housekeeper filed chargers against Campbell for being violent and bigoted

Do you want to know why she was thrown off a plane just today??? Continue Reading: The many faces of Naomi Cambell–hint hint–she’s crazy

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Photo courtesy of perezhilton.com.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Bai Ling, contortionist and taxidermist for hire, was arrested Wednesday for shoplifting at an LAX store. Ling was put under “citizen’s arrest” when she walked out with two celeb magazines and a pack of batteries (for vibrator) that totaled $16. Now, I’m no advocate of shoplifting but 16 dollars–come the F#%$ on! You’re a celebrity, Bai, pay the officer a couple extra dollars (or try that other thing) and get off with a slap on the wrist. Seriously, your star truly has faded when your put under citizen’s arrest and you can’t get away with $16 worth of stolen goods.

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