Ginger Spice doesn’t wear panties to children’s event

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John:
Ginger Spice showed up to the Children’s BAFTA ceremony in London with her whole ass hanging out. I’m sure the children were as pleased with this as their parents. I like this move. It’s like a wardrobe malfunction with a pedifile twist. Soon, Ginger will be showing up topless to Leukemia benefits. What could be better to help fight cancer than a naked Spice Girl in your grill? I submit to you that nothing can be better.

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Lindsay Lohan’s ass = still amazing

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John:
Lindsay Lohan is in Cabo with Samantha Ronson this week doing unholy things to each other. In this side-by-side comparison I’ve put together, you can see that Lindsay has what I call an ass. Ronson, on the other hand, has what is commonly referred to as a dumper. Ronson can barely hold herself upright for Christ sake. Being a lesbian dating a hot girl is soooo hard. Whaaaaaa! She looks like she might fall over and break her self-esteem at any second. This has become a total shit show. Que the reaper.

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Cue wind stage right.

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Darby Gunpowder:
With all the criticism Jessica Simpson has gotten lately, we figured a some nice words were in order for the country/pop star: Nice crack Jess.
Sorry, that’s all I could muster…

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Kim Kardashian on Dancing with the Stars = priceless

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Bob ‘The Bitch’
:
Is it just me or did Kim Kardashian say she was planning on losing the ass pounds to be on Dancing with the Stars. Could’ve swore that’s what I heard. You know, Kim, just imagining that your ass is toned doesn’t make it true. I’m sure you spent many nights throwing ever penny ‘Daddy’ made into a wishing well hoping that your ass would transform into something the public valued. You lit every prayer candle you could find and wished to the genie Zultar that your ass wouldn’t be so BIG. But unfortunately this isn’t the movies and you’re no movie star. You’re and ass, plain and simple. An ass that shat out a torso, arms, legs, and a head full of shit. Sorry to break it to you. Pwned.

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I’m pretty much going to deface this photo

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John:
Jessica Simpson went on Good Morning America today and she stopped singing half way into the set because she couldn’t hear a thing. Tell me about it, sister. Click here for that whole shit show. It’s not like people are showing up to hear Jessica sing anyway. The host might as well say, “Now let’s wheel out Juggie McJuggerson. Apparently, Juggs is going to make some noises today but we’re told that’s part of the act so don’t be alarmed. Enjoy!”

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