Derober

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John:
Gossip sites dish out so much shit on this poor girl. Luckily she never went to school so she can’t read. Miley Cyrus celebrated her 16th birthday by treating her fans to $300 seats to her Disneyland show. When reached for a comment regarding the crater in my wallet, Miley responded,

The snozberries taste like snozberries.

Dumber than a sack of hammers. F*ck it, she’s not even legal yet so what do I care (wink)

Comments (4)

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John:
For those of you who find this image disturbing, the women’s room is right here. Miley Cyrus is throwing herself a 16th Birthday party at Disneyland and she wants all her friends to come. Wait! There’s a catch. Tickets for the concert are starting at $300. That’s a lot of money. I remember when I was 12 my dad gave me a $20 bill and I tried to buy land in Hawaii with it. Did I mention that last year at this time Miley’s average concert ticket was a c-hair above $60? Now that is disturbing. Gouging kids and parents to listen to pre-recorded lyrics is bad enough. Pulling that shit during a recession is another. For $300, you’d better be doing this whole concert naked riding an Flamingo, Miles.

I’m categorizing this post under ‘Miley Cyrus is an asshole dickhead’. It’s harsh, yes. But so is life.

Comments (3)

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John:
It’s my d*ick in a box! Hayden Panettiere celebrated her 19th birthday yesterday. I love this chick, she’ll put on a sorcorer’s hat, yank a dog into a pool, and throw in a nipple slip to boot. She’s dangerous. Like a little rock star on training wheels. If you can find the nipple slip below, I’ll give you a shiny nickel. Goooood luck!

For more on Hayden’s evolution from striptease to nip slip click here.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
When Lindsay Lohan says she’s throwing a birthday party even Jesus takes notice. I don’t know what Lohan’s list of demands were for her birthday but I can only imagine they went something like this:

Item 1: 2, 000 dildos
Item 2: Rocket Launcher and real functioning Iron Man suit
Item 3: Enough cocaine to suffocate a blue whale
Item 4: Confetti
Item 5: Truck load of KY Jelly
Item 6: A goat (if no goat available then a tiger and several hundred hamsters)

But that’s all just speculation at this point. Anyways…yaaah Lindsay, Happy Birthday. One more year gone by that people didn’t know about your love of animals…literally.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
C’mon did you really think I’d blow up an infant like Suri? They have to be at least five years old before I resort to TNT dismantling. And I am firm on that policy. After all what is a man without moral standards?? Anyways, as you can see the Derobers would like to ring in Suri Cruise’s 2nd birthday with a bash. We apologise that we couldn’t find an alien space ship tree house for Suri, but we figure it’s only a matter of time before Tom buys one for her. So keep your fingers crossed on that one. And sorry to those of you out there who were actually hoping to see Suri get detonated. Like I said, it’s just a strict policy here at Derober. You’ll have to wait 3 more years.

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