Derober

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Why such a large purse, Kim…why such a large purse. Kim Kardashian’s ass is back in an epic way and not a moment too soon. I’ve been in a funk witnessing Kim’s less rotund ass in the media lately. I mean it’s like not eating your cake and getting a fat ass too. It’s like Butch Cassidy without the Sundance Kid or Ali without Frazier. You just can’t enjoy the show without the spectacle. So I’d like to dedicate this post to all the drugs, exercise and duct tape that was not able to contain the amazing wonder that is Kim’s ass. Your failure is my strength.

Comment (1)

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Ahaa, it always comes back to those juggs. Those things are an island in a sea of oil. A place of refuge in a nuclear holocaust. Beacons of hope on a planet of cellulite, cheese and plastic. But I digress. Kim Kardashian though a monster and the object of a personal vendetta against her ass, on my part, sure does know how to put her best foot forward. These recent calender wall pics of Kim show that despite being soulless and without a moral compass Kim isn’t without a brain. And that’s good. Because sometimes all we can tell our daughters is that no matter what happens, no matter how dumb or ugly you are, no matter how much common sense and savvy you lack, there’s always a chance for redemption through those lady lumps. And if you can’t grow em, own em. Done and done.

The more you know. By Bob ‘The Bitch.’

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Now you’re speaking my language, Sarah. Tits equal sound fundamental politics in my book. In fact I’d say tits just took the lead for quickest way to win over my heart, narrowly edging out cooking a nice steak dinner. Alright so maybe Sarah Palin is not actually taking any part in the upcoming Nailin’ Paylin porno video (played by Lisa Ann who I think will be up for an academy award). However, she is the films’ inspiration which I think makes her partially liable. Anyways, finally finally I have a reason to give a damn about politics. From now on their should always be an easy-on-the eyes milf candidate running for office. BANG…the vote is passed, one to nothing.

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John:
If she had 4 cleavages! Seriously, Katy Perry is the reason I blog. I could have taken a week photoshopping this photo of Katy’s kittens falling out of her blouse. Halfway through this post I went to Ralph’s Supermarket and grabbed a six pack of Corona just so I could drink a beer while I was photoshopping multiple racks on this vixen I swear to god. I even got limes. And I’m actually sad that I’m finishing this post. Someday, I’m going to write a book about the different ways I’d give it to this girl and call it, The 234,394 Ways I’d Give It To Katy Perry and 2 Ways I Wouldn’t. I’ll bet you’re dying to know the 2 ways I wouldn’t. You’ll just have to wait for the book.

Comments (5)

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Oh, so that’s where my rubber chicken went. Lindsay Lohan’s tits are a natural phenomenon. They’re like Silly Putty. They fluctuate in size, shape, and overall smell depending on the mold of Lindsay’s body frame. Seriously, when Lindsay is in one of her ‘thin-to-win’ phases her boobs look like something I would see in a National Geographic magazine. But when she gets in her current ‘brick house’ phase it looks like she’s toting around two jam filled bowling balls. I don’t know what to think anymore so I’m going to stop trying. But to quote Rocky 4 (the hands down best Rocky), “If I can change…and you can change…..Everybody can change!” I guess that’s the only way to look at Lohan’s can-cans.

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