Derober

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Dee:
Straight out of rehab and back into the looney bin. Page Six is reporting that Amy Winehouse has just shacked up with the Osbournes:

She’s moving in with Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne and their daughter, Kelly, in the guesthouse of their estate outside London. The stick-figured “Rehab” singer, just out of rehab herself, is a longtime pal of Kelly, also a former rehabber. “Kelly has always been there for Amy, they are very tight,” a source tells London’s Daily Mirror.

This sounds lovely. What’s next, Britney moves in with one of the Olson twins?? Just sad.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
I always wondered what it would look like if you detonated a hydrogen bomb in a giant vat of shit. This is it.

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Dee:
While in prison Amy’s bo Blake Fielder-Civil wrote a letter to his father in regards to Amy’s addiction to drugs. According to News of the World, Blake hoped that rehab would get Amy off of her $1,000 a day coke and crack addiction. Blake went on:

“I want Amy to grab this opportunity in rehab so we can have a marriage and future together. Because the way she’s going I really fear I will come out of prison to no wife.
“I dread my cell door being opened and the chaplain informing me, ‘Amy’s dead.’
“I have that nightmare three or four times a week.

We’re all hoping that Amy spends that money each day on shoes. Not drugs.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Actually, she’d be well-advised to spend that money on cosmetic make-up and better whigs. Believe me, we’ve all seen her without it.

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Dee:
According to a recent poll by Moviefone Lindsey Lohan’s Georgia Rule landed the #2 WORST movie of 2007. If you recal, this is the movie Lilo was making during her “party till the wheels fall off” stage. She was up to her eyeballs in blow and booze. . .ahh the gool ol’ days when celebs claimed exhaustion.

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Photo courtesy of perezhilton.com

Dee:
Little Miss Sunshine’s evil step-sister, Amy Winehouse, appears to back to her old habits again. Now, I’m no expert in forensics, but that white powdery residue lining Amy’s nostrils doesn’t look like make-up to me. Get your act together Amy, you have all the talent in the world and your blowing your chance right up the nose. Drugs aren’t the answer.

Bob ‘The Bitch’
‘The more you know’. A public advertisement brought to you by Dee.

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Photo courtesy of perezhilton.com

Dee:
Everyone’s favorite train wreck, Britney Spears, recently failed a court ordered drug test. Her camp first argued that a false positive may have occurred because Britney took a drug called Provigil which may have been detected during testing. However, Provigil does not show up on court-ordered drug tests unless they are specifically looking for it–which they weren’t. What they did find were traces of amphetamine? Amphetamine is used in drugs like cocaine, meth, crack, and speed (to name a few). So now Britney’s camp, on full spin-control, have blamed the failed drug test on Albuterol, an asthma drug. And although Britney doesn’t have asthma she does use inhalers as an appetite suppressant (not really working). However, albuterol isn’t an amphetamine, like the amphetamine that showed up on her failed drug test. Brit stop the lies, you are SOL.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Wow Brit, it takes an amazing amount of will power to bullshit in front of the entire world as the evidence piles up against you–but hey, if it worked for OJ why not you–oops, I went there. You know, why not go one step further while you’re at it. Why not blame it on stress from your recent divorce and loss of your kids. Maybe while you slept your baby actually managed to inject you with an unsterilized needle full of heroin. Hell, maybe it was a pet…you know dogs these days, they’ll do anything for attention. Britney stop it, no one believes you. You’re two scoops away from a Michael-Jackson sundae.

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