Derober

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John:
Prince Harry and his girlfriend Chelsy Davy are vacationing on the island of Mauritius. That just sounds totally made up by the way. More importantly, if you’re dating a prince, your a gold digger, period. Even if you are a great girl who jokes with the boys and drinks and farts, your still a digger if your dating a prince. It can’t be helped.
Tell me Chelsy doesn’t look in the mirror once a week and whisper, ‘Presenting to the court, Princess Chelsy.’
She does, trust me, she does.

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Darby Gunpowder:
Please read this post while listening to Powerman 5000 ‘When World’s Collide’ (video after jump). And go. Pamela Anderson, and Michael Jackson are doin it and doin it and doin it gross. That’s right, Michael’s life is so messed up he wants to end it with a quick lethal injection of Hepatitus C. It’s a brilliant move by Pam since she’ll be the beneficiary of his estate -which isn’t much at this point, but it’s better than selling Tommy Lee’s used wiener socks on Ebay. Here’s the skinny on their latest rendezvous in Malibu,

“They were very chatty. Pamela was being her usual flirty self and Michael seemed to be responding. They are such a strange couple but they seemed to really hit it off.”
So much so Michael plucked up the courage to ask Pammy out on a second date. And she was more than happy to accept.
We’re told: “They went for a coffee at Country Mart in Malibu and looked very comfortable with each other. They chatted about Michael turning 50, his new album, their kids. And he seemed genuinely interested in Pamela.”

No one is safe.
Continue Reading: WTF?! Pam Anderson and Michael Jackson dating

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Darby Gunpowder:
Lindsey and her newly proclaimed girlfriend, Samantha Ronsen, were seen out and about in NYC with her younger sis, Ali.
Now I’m no gynaconologist, but I can smell a lesbian a timezone away -and Lindsey Lohan is far from it. I know everyone craves the box from time to time, but this kind of conversion so late in the game is reckless and unreasonable. It’s one thing if you switch teams for Petra Nemcova or Rachel Bilson, but Samantha Ronson sits the proverbial butch-bench.
For those of you who are thinking, “Who the fuck is Samantha Ronsen?” Click Here to find out. One need only look at the cockticulous picture on her wiki-page -it speaks volumes.
On a side note to all the ladies out there: I’m no fashion guru, but I know what sucks and these girls’ outfits suck sweaty sticky summertime balls. Don’t do that.

In case you missed it: Lindsey Lohan is not only a lesbian, she is a mannequin.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:

According to an interview with Canada’s National Post Lauren Conrad

won’t date guys that are in reality TV shows. The hippocrate Conrad said,

Dating [on The Hills] is hard because, personally, I don’t really want to date a guy that wants to be on a reality show, but those are the only kind of guys I can date,

Really?! That’s funny coming from a woman who whores herself out the the world every day on a scripted reality TV show. Get off your high horse. Who are you to judge other people who are pursuing a career via reality TV. Don’t get me wrong, I hate all of you. But I’m not exactly on reality TV myself am I? So I can say that. In the meantime, do yourself a favor. Find a nice little canyon and throw yourself in it. And on the decent down remember not to criticize other people for throwing themselves off cliffs. Hippocrate.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
This may all be untrue, but according to a source Gerard Butler and Cameron Diaz might be an item. The two have reportedly been, “getting very close.” An onlooker noted that,”there was a lot of thigh and arm touching.” So whatever you take from that is what’s happening. But if it is true then I can’t help but feel a little bit responsible for the two hooking up. How is that you ask? Well, when I walked out of the movie 300 I said to my friends, “that guy deserves to get laid by the ultimate babe.” And after months of preaching that sentiment the proof is in the pudding. Gerard Butler in fact did ‘bag the ultimate babe.’

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