Derober

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John:
Andy Dick was arrested outside a Buffalo Wild Wings last night. According to TMZ,

Cops tell us they responded to a report of a person peeing in the parking lot outside the wing joint, causing a disturbance.
Once there, they stopped a van and found Dick in the passenger seat. He was arrested for allegedly groping a 17-year-old girl’s breasts and pulling her top down.
When he was searched, cops say they found weed and one Xanax in his front pants pocket.

The only way this could be more redneck is if the van was sponsored by Mountain Dew and the girl he was groping was his sister.

~ Andy Dick is a child-molesting bum! ~

Darby Gunpowder:
I just hired Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag as vigilantes to hunt down and shoot Andy Dick for crimes against humanity. They can smell their own.

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Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Derober’s winner of the 2007 ‘Ugliest woman alive’ award, Amy Winehouse is back in the news for headbutting people while in a drunken stupor. Seriously. It all went down last night as The Sun reports:

Onlookers told how the married singer also SNOGGED a mystery fella at a nightspot and shocked punters by overturning tables and drinks.
She was later seen smoking drugs in the street, walked into a lamppost, and riled a cabbie by paying only HALF her promised fare home.

Amy then realized that she hadn’t met her ‘destruction quota’ for the night and thus decided to head to another bar.

She was off her face, throwing drinks around and turning over tables. Amy screamed, ‘I am a legend, get these people out. I want to take drugs’.”
Another man tried to get her a cab, but she reportedly thought he was trying to molest her and allegedly butted him in the face.

She also headbutted another man while at the bar when he refused to let her play pool before she went home. But when you’re the ‘ugliest woman alive’ you have nowhere to go but up so a drunken headbutting rampage almost improves your image. A few more nights like that and she might actually be able to shake peoples hands in broad daylight.

For more evidence of Amy’s insanity.

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Photo courtesy of x17online.com.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
You know when it comes to using the ‘brown bag’ I just want to point out that it hurts me more than it hurts the person wearing it. I have to painfully stare at the catastrophe of a mug they call their face as I slowly photoshop that bag on them–AND IT HURTS. So celebrity, next time you’re thinking of going out looking like a troll that just took a shotgun blast to the face, Like Courtnie Love, THINK AGAIN. Lives are at stake here. My life anyways.

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Dee:
Well first Amy, then Britney, and now chalk another one up to rehab for Eva Mendes. The actress allegedly checked into rehab at the Cirque Lodge in Utah for substance abuse issues. But look at it on the bright side, at least she’s not Britney Spears.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Awwwe, this is so sad. Another great talent in rehab. I loved her oscar nominated performance as Sara in Hitch.

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Dee:
While in prison Amy’s bo Blake Fielder-Civil wrote a letter to his father in regards to Amy’s addiction to drugs. According to News of the World, Blake hoped that rehab would get Amy off of her $1,000 a day coke and crack addiction. Blake went on:

“I want Amy to grab this opportunity in rehab so we can have a marriage and future together. Because the way she’s going I really fear I will come out of prison to no wife.
“I dread my cell door being opened and the chaplain informing me, ‘Amy’s dead.’
“I have that nightmare three or four times a week.

We’re all hoping that Amy spends that money each day on shoes. Not drugs.

Bob ‘The Bitch’:
Actually, she’d be well-advised to spend that money on cosmetic make-up and better whigs. Believe me, we’ve all seen her without it.

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