Now that’s how you play volleyball

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

John:
Swiss Supermodel Michelle Hunziker can’t figure out if she’s playing baseball or soccer. And that’s OK. Frankly, I don’t care if she can’t add or subtract.  It’s all about the title really. Most people are Mr. or Mrs. but Swiss Supermodel is so much better. But that’s just my opinion and the opinion of the entire free world. So take it with a grain of salt.

* * * * * * * *

How can this photo get any hotter?

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

John:
Kristen Bell and her ward, Dax, went to the beach to make PDA for the cameras. I’m just spinnin’ my wheels here but does Dax have a tattoo of a barfing dolphin on his arm? It’s probably not but I have a rule of thumb: If you have a tattoo that, from a distance, looks like a barfing dolphin, you don’t deserve to date Kristen Bell. That’s pretty much my only rule and I stick to it with military-like devotion.

Photo credit = Egotastic

* * * *

Iz you hungry baby?

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

John:
Christina Aguilera stepped out with her kid to show the world her new post-pregnancy body. I posted a boner when I saw these. Oh, that was immature - sooo sorry. It’s like midnight here and I’ve been chasing shots of Jack Daniels with breast milk Diet Coke all night. Welcome to Derober where we chase our liquor with breast milk and diet soda. I defy you to find a bigger lot of badasses.

* * * * * * *

Britney Spears returns to Wal-Mart hotness

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

John:
Britney Spears made a weekend appearance at Bare, Mirage’s topless pool. Thankfully, Brit kept her top on. That’s a good thing because Brintey’s nipples stare at the ground like a scorned dog. I can’t prove that of course but I’m really good at making things up and I’m just spinnin’ my wheels over here. Gotta’ run, my unicorn just arrived and I’ve got a ton of errands to run.

* * * * * * *

Blake Lively has no pants party

~ Roll mouse over photo to Derobe ~

John:
Blake Lively showed up to the David Letterman show and it looks like she forgot something. I’ve been reading some gossip blogs criticizing this bold move. Have you seen those legs? Those legs could end the war in the Middle East. Those legs could make peanut butter. I don’t know what that means but I’m sure it’s true. If those legs were wrapped around me, well, I’d be sure to take a picture and show it to all my friends because they wouldn’t believe me without photographic proof but the point is I’d be really happy. So very happy….Talk to me, Blake. Tell me how you feel. I want to be your man. And by ‘man’ I mean ‘person who has tons of sex with you.’

* * * *