Derober

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John:
The photo above slightly sensationalized. Paris was not home when a burgler forced his way through Paris’ front door and ransacked her bedroom, stealing almost $2 Million dollars worth of jewelry.
Here at Derober, we dump a lot of shit on Paris but I really got nothing here. This sucks. Bad.
It sucks because I have all this jewelry and I have no clue how to offload it. Gonna’ wait till things cool down. It’s hot now, I tell you. Hottern’ hell.

Here are some photos of Paris so she can see what she looks like without jewelry. Hope this helps!

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Bob ‘the bitch’:
An eviction notice was placed on Gary Busey’s front door in Malibu. Reports are that he owes over $50,000 in back rent. Apparently, he’s refusing to do so because he claims that the “unclean air conditioning vents” were posing a serious health risk to him.
If I were a landlord and Busey told me that yarn I’d kick them in his fat teeth. The real excuse is always the obvious one: He doesn’t have any money. Period. Gary blew his money on coke and crazy stuff and now he’s living beyond his means which is why he’s renting, not buying. Silly Busey.

Update: Hollywood just evicted Busey! Developing…

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27 Northumberland Nashville, TN 37215
Click Here for Directions to the Jessica Simpson’s Nashville Home

Owner: Jessica Simpson
Year Built: 1987
Purchase Price: $3,500,000
Rooms: 19
Square Feet: 10,925
Lot: 2.01 acres
Bedrooms: 7
Bathrooms: 10
Amenities: Tennis Court, Swimming Pool, Home theater

It’s rumored that tig-ol-bitty herself is swapping her acting career for a country music career and moving to Tennessee.
Derober would like to report Jessica Simpson has good taste by purchasing this plush southern mansion, but when you spend $3.5 million dollars in Tennessee, you’re not getting a double-wide decorated by Flava-Flav. It’s science.
We’ll keep you updated on Simpson’s career move, but our Magic Eight Ball just told us “Outlook Not So Good.” Waahhh, waahhh.

Check out other celebrity mansions here .

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Darby Gunpowder:
It’s safe to say that everyone has had a job they hate. We’ve all considered jumping out of a high-rise window or exfixiating ourselves with bubble wrap -no? Go work at Wells Fargo.
I digress. A 48-year old construction worker at Mel Gibson’s Augora Hills house hung himself on the job site.
My first instinct is to feel bad for this “poor” guy, but I can’t. Homeboy took the easy way out and gave up on life. His choice, but definitely a rude gesture to anyone who cares about him. Not to mention, extra-rude to the Gibson family who now have to live in a haunted, tormented house. What a jerk. Mel’s a pretty tough dude, especially boozed up, but imagine getting up in the middle of the night to take a leak and you’re confronted by a ghostly construction worker wielding a nail gun -even William Wallace would shit his pants.

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Michael Jackson beat the buzzer and came up with the $24.5 million in cash to save his Neverland molestorium before the estate went for public auction March 19th. Jacko refinanced through Fortress Investment Group, LLC. in some shady, behind closed doors tickle-handshake deal. If homeboy is smart he should sell his collection of over 10,000 My Little Buddy Limited Edition True Anatomy dolls on Ebay to raise money.

Check out these insane photos of the infamous Neverland Ranch.

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